This is my third attempt at writing this newsletter.
Not because I didn’t know what I wanted to say. Quite the opposite. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I just couldn’t find a way to say it that felt true.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about ruthless clarity. About self-awareness. About self-leadership. About why so many successful people continue chasing more while feeling strangely disconnected from themselves.
Then I came across a simple sentence:
“You are here to understand yourself, not to be understood.”
I stopped reading.
Because that was it.
That was the thing I had been trying to articulate.
What if one of the greatest obstacles to growth is the belief that you’re broken and need to be fixed?
For years, I lived inside that belief. Maybe you’ve felt this in your life as well. It sounded like this in my head:
I should be further along by now.
I should weigh less.
I should be more disciplined.
I should have figured this out already.
The details changed over time, but the underlying message remained remarkably consistent: something about me wasn’t quite right.
Like many people, I responded the only way I knew how. I worked harder. I read more books. I set bigger goals. I chased more accomplishments. Surely the next achievement would finally quiet the voice telling me I wasn’t enough.
It never did.
The fascinating thing about self-improvement is that it often promises freedom while quietly reinforcing the idea that there is something fundamentally wrong with you in the first place.
Years ago, I heard the expression, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
At the time, I thought it was clever.
Now I think it’s profound.
Because no matter where I went, I brought myself with me. My habits. My fears. My patterns. My assumptions about who I was and who I should be.
A new city didn’t change them. A promotion didn’t change them. More success didn’t change them.
They simply came along for the ride.
Then I was introduced to Internal Family Systems, or IFS. What intrigued me wasn’t the methodology itself. It was the premise. The idea that we all have different parts of ourselves, each carrying its own story, fears, motivations, and strategies for keeping us safe.
Suddenly, behaviors I had spent years criticizing began to make sense. The part of me that overachieved wasn’t trying to make my life difficult. It was trying to protect me.
The part of me that sought certainty wasn’t weak. It was trying to keep me safe.
The part of me that occasionally resisted change wasn’t sabotaging my growth. It had simply learned, somewhere along the way, that change could be risky.
What if the goal isn’t to eliminate these parts?
What if the goal is to understand them?
That question has changed the way I think about leadership.
It has changed the way I think about personal growth.
And perhaps most importantly, it has changed the way I think about myself.
The older I get, the less interested I become in fixing myself and the more interested I become in understanding myself. Because understanding creates awareness.
Awareness creates choice, and choice creates change when it’s paired with action.
As we begin June, this is my hope for all of us:
May this be a month where you release the belief that you need to become someone else in order to be worthy, successful, or fulfilled.
May you have the courage to get curious about the parts of yourself that you’ve judged, resisted, or tried to fix.
May you spend less time asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and more time asking, “What is this trying to teach me?”
May you hear God’s voice above the noise of expectations, comparison, and self-criticism.
May you release the burden of becoming who the world says you should be and embrace more fully the person He created you to be.
May clarity replace confusion, peace replace hurry, and trust replace fear.
May you find moments of stillness amid the noise and wisdom in places you once overlooked.
May God grant you wisdom for the next step, peace for the present moment, and confidence in the path ahead.
And when life feels uncertain, may you remember that understanding yourself is not a detour from your purpose.
It is often the path to it.
Wishing you a June filled with clarity, courage, grace, and a deeper understanding of the remarkable person God created you to be.
This is my hope for you, me, and everyone that we have the opportunity to impact this month. Remember, it’s up to you to Be the One, don’t take that anointing lightly.
With love, peace, and an ambitious vision,
Carmen Ohling
CEO, The Amplified Life Company
When you’re ready, below are 3 ways I can help you live and lead with more joy, fulfillment, and aligned success:
1. Join the Waitlist for Our CEO Immersive Experience
Our next invite-only CEO Immersive Experience is being planned for Miami Beach, Florida, and Bend, Oregon. If you’re a growth-minded leader who values meaningful conversations, strategic thinking, and personal transformation, join the waitlist HERE to be among the first invited.
2. Bring Me In to Speak
If you’re planning a conference, leadership retreat, executive offsite, or signature event, let’s explore what’s possible. My favorite part of every engagement is co-creating an experience that creates lasting impact for your people. Schedule a conversation HERE.
3. Apply for My Final Summer Coaching & Mentoring Opening
I have one private coaching and mentoring spot remaining this summer. If you’re navigating a season of growth, transition, or building what’s next, complete a brief application and let’s connect to see if we’re the right fit.