I am sitting outside just after 1 pm in the afternoon on a Monday in Miami Beach. The afternoon is humid and hot, but I am in the shade and there’s a breeze, so I am enjoying the time outside today. As I sit I am reading and come across this statement from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and it prompted me to write. Here’s the affirmation:
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
I could feel this deep in my heart and a full-body agreement with this affirmation, and then I said this next profound statement out loud to myself:
“And as soon as you believe in yourself, you’ll know the next step to take.”
Whew! Take a few deep breaths and repeat these statements to yourself.
What do you feel?
What thoughts come up for you?
I think a lot about making sure you can feel my heart through my writing.
You know the solution I always come back to?
Trusting myself.
Believing in myself.
Trusting and knowing, believing, and writing from a place of authenticity and creativity.
What if our big leadership decisions and small daily life choices were this simple?
Notice, I didn’t say it was easy. However, they can be simple and easeful if we trust ourselves and believe that we can show up as our authentic self. To show up as our highest and best, and striving to do that each day, in each experience, and endeavoring to be unreasonably captivated by each moment of creativity and authenticity.
Two lizards just ran past me, playing on the sidewalk in the Miami Beach sunshine that caught my attention from this writing. Watching them momentarily, they are doing the head-bobbing thing they do. Do you know what I am referring to? I am not totally sure why they do that, I can only assume. Let’s check the all-knowing Google….
Okay, Google has reported that lizards bob their heads for three reasons, communication, establishing territory, and attracting females. Back to trusting, knowing, and taking action from this place of self-trust and belief…
The wind is blowing a bit more now, providing nature’s all-knowing, much-appreciated air conditioning as I continue writing. Maybe you’re asking yourself, “How do I start trusting and believing in myself more?” I’ve asked myself this question many times in my life, and I’ve tried many things to build this self-trust and belief muscle. It is really like a muscle, you must use it to build it, but all too often we think that someone or something else knows better than we do and so our muscle never grows, or worse yet- it atrophies.
Here’s what I know for sure about building trust and belief in yourself both in your professional life and personal life:
1. People can be guides, inspiration, or motivation for you but if you try to do it exactly like they do it you will always fall short. You will fall short because you are measuring yourself against them, and they are not you. Take what you learn and test it in your life, your way. Making this small shift from “how you should do it” to “how you do it” builds trust and belief.
2. Stop second-guessing yourself. Actually let me put that a better way: STOP SECOND GUESSING EVERYTHING. Get it? Ya, I see you! How do you know I see you? Because I was like you… Always second-guessing each of my decisions, triple-checking my work, and replaying scenarios in my head with a lens of criticism. Ugg, it was exhausting and instead of building trust it built my “I am not good enough story” that replayed in my head. Start small here. Maybe you notice you’re second-guessing what you’re going to wear for the day, go back to the first decision. Try doing this throughout the day, then collect evidence that your first choice was a great choice- and the self-trust and belief muscle builds!
3. Find a mirror and ask for feedback. No, not a physical mirror but I am talking about someone who is just a little further ahead than you on where you want to go in this season of your life and leadership. Ask them the below 3 questions, but when you do be ready- the feedback will be both a reflection of where you shine and where your reflection is a little dull.
a. When you think of me, what really stands out? Where do I shine?
b. What’s the one thing you’d call me for over anyone else?
c. One of my biggest values is learning and growing. In your opinion what area of my life and leadership would I benefit from learning and growing in next? Why?
Repeat steps 1-3 daily and collect your evidence!
Collecting evidence means taking a pause to fully experience the moments when you feel self-trust or self-belief deeply. Feel the feelings in your body and anchor them in with a few deep breaths. If you’re considering skipping this part, don’t! Tying physical sensations to your experiences locks in the feeling and moment into your short-term memory. You can then call on your short-term memory to bolster your trust and belief daily. Again, the more you use it the more it will grow.
Lastly, I believe in you, isn’t it time you start?
