is Question: How many times this week have you told yourself, “I don’t have time.”

Really think about it. The reality is that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. Just like I do, just like you do. Nothing more, nothing less.

I began thinking deeply about this on Sunday when I found myself making the decision not to go to the beach, although I had indicated that I was so excited to go to the beach the day before. So, what changed?

Not much, other than I began to put internal pressure on myself for the handful of things I wanted to accomplish on Sunday, which left my subconscious to push me into the idea that I didn’t have time. I’d probably get all wet and sandy and have to shower again in the middle of the day and…..

…. I didn’t have time for that.

But in all honesty, I did. I had plenty of time for that, and so we went. And, I enjoyed every single minute of it!

This experience made me realize that the false sense of urgency society builds into us, combined with the pressure we internally put on ourselves make the response of, “I don’t have time,” is almost involuntary.

I invite you to join me this week and have some hard conversations with yourself. Accept that we all have the exact same amount of time and we can choose how we spend it. We can choose what we make a priority. Consider that maybe your stress and overwhelm are not because you have too much to do, maybe it’s just that you’re not clear on what you want and where you are going so you say yes to everything and everyone….

…and that my friends is completely exhausting, and only fuels that false belief that there’s not time.

Try this for a week:

1. Be aware of when you tell yourself, “I don’t have time for that.”
2. Check in. Are you focused on what truly matters in this season of your life?
3. Adjust, choose again, delegate, ask for help, let go… or a combination of those.
4. Use this mantra often: “There is plenty of time and money for everything!”

One last note….

…The things we usually say we don’t have time for are normally the rejuvenating, fun, and meaningful connections that we actually need more than anything!

Here’s to making time this week,

Carmen

Joal and I recently hosted a dinner party in our home in Miami Beach. 

We invited three of our friends with whom we’ve built meaningful relationships since moving here to Miami Beach.  It was an early Friday evening, 6:00 pm, and a beautiful, warm summer Miami Beach night.  We ate a traditional lasagna, cucumber salad, and freshly baked bread with homemade garlic butter.  For dessert, we had delicious lemon bars- you know, the ones with the sweetest lemony custard and brilliantly baked shortbread crust.  We spent about 3 hours together, sharing a meal and sharing stories we’d never shared previously, and it was so much fun.  The genuine curiosity and listening of each of our group was so refreshing.

As our friends were leaving, my heart was full, and in that moment, I was the embodiment of appreciation and gratitude. Smiling to myself, I reflected on how diverse we were as a group of 6 amazing humans, which would have never been possible if we were not committed to building meaningful relationships.  Joal thanked me for taking the time to put the evening together and for having the idea of hosting our friends, who we had not seen for a while because of traveling for our work on the West Coast. 

As successful, ambitious humans, it’s easy to focus only on the details of our own lives, to stay stuck in our daily routines, not to reach out, and to tell ourselves, “Why do I always have to be the one to reach out?” 

Can you relate to that last part? 

Truth time today, friends!  Both Joal and I have been guilty of this in the past.  Over time, I’ve come to realize that if we continued to wait, we’d most likely be waiting forever.  Not because people don’t want to spend time with us, or don’t love us but because it’s easier to wait for someone else to reach out, someone else to plan, someone else to extend an invitation.  The other side of this is that simply because we choose to show up a particular way, we don’t expect others to do the same.  However, if there is something that we need or want, we ask and communicate its importance to others.  A surefire path to feeling let down, discouraged, and resentful is when you hold expectations for others, based on your personal (often uncommunicated) standards.

Maybe that was an ah-ha moment right there for you, or maybe it was a gentle reminder, but either way, I hope that you continue to answer the call to BE THE ONE in your life who reaches out, who extends the invitation, who checks in, who does small acts of unexpected kindness because it all adds up and it all matters.  The best part, your heart will be full, and you’ll be the embodiment of appreciation and gratitude, just like I was earlier this month.  

A few quick tips that I love sharing to not only build but maintain (we often forget that part, meaningful relationships take ongoing work) are these:

FRIENDSHIPS:

Surprise and delight them with kind, unexpected gestures, show up for them even when they do not ask, send them a handwritten letter, mark your calendar to celebrate milestones, and be generous.  

WORK RELATIONSHIPS:

Celebrate their successes publicly (even the small ones or “inner” successes), handwritten notes always go a long way, be their cheerleader and challenger to help them grow, and plan team-building activities or bring small gifts or treats to work.  

SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Surprise them with a date night at their favorite spot or with their favorite things. Leave little notes around the house unexpectedly. If you are away, try sending them a special delivery while you are gone or write them a handwritten card and mail it to arrive during your absence.

FAMILY:

Plan a family outing that connects and is memorable, put together a family picture album of key memories for each family member (what else will we do with those 1000+ pictures on our iPhones anyway!), and set an intention to learn something new about a family member by being curious and asking questions.  

The key is to go above and beyond because, with a little extra effort, the ordinary can be transformed into extraordinary.  

For more tips and resources on BEING THE ONE, follow us, The Amplified Life Company @carmenohling

The vision and purpose at The Amplified Life Company:

“Be the one to show the world how truly great life can be!”

The mission at The Amplified Life Company:

To significantly improve the lives of over 1 million leaders by amplifying their gifts, voices, lives, and businesses through high-level collaboration, personal growth, and learning.

Email us at hello@carmenohling.com if you’d like to learn more about Being the One and bringing this work to your team!

Earlier this month I received this text message from one of my first mentors, Lori Harder: 

“Get in the rooms where your dreams are other people’s realities.”

I started searching back in my text messages for other messages from Lori about getting in the room, and here’s another mic drop moment that I found:

“You can only go as far as you’re willing to grow.  If you can’t seem to get unstuck, notice that you are likely holding back from putting yourself in situations, networks, rooms, and opportunities that would make you uncomfortable.  The bigger the discomfort, the bigger the opportunities!!”

These messages sparked a level of joy inside thinking about when I was just three years into my personal and professional growth journey.  I signed up for an online coaching program with Lori that was called, The Bliss Habit. It was a 12-week online program that consisted of weekly dripped content of a meditation, workbook, and video.  I remember anxiously waiting for the email each week and being so encouraged to dive into the work.  Week one was all about authenticity and had me asking inquiry questions like, who am I, what do I love, what do I want?  I remember feeling challenged by this, and it was only week number one!

Interestingly enough, I often ask my coaching clients, “What do you want” and it’s a challenge for them to give a clear, concise, authentic, and aligned answer. Try it – without any context ask yourself, “What do I want?”  Then stop and wait to see what comes through first.  Does it surprise you?  Do you immediately go to thinking about something else that you “think you should want” instead?

Back to the Bliss Habit experience, by about week seven of the twelve-week journey, I found myself allowing life to get in the way of my initial excitement and devotion to my growth.   I was still doing the work, but I realized that I was as focused and committed.  So I decided to set a goal for a reward once I completed the course, including listening to the meditations multiple times during each week. This was the absolute best decision I have ever made because the reward was to attend Lori’s upcoming event, The Bliss Project in beautiful sunny California in March of 2017. 

I was getting into the room!!!!  The best part, and most uncomfortable part is that I was doing it ALONE.  I proceeded to complete the course and set these four intentions for the event:

1. Give.  When needed, serve.  
2. Sit in the front.  (Now I am 100% a front seater, but here I was front-ish)
3. Raise your hand at least once to ask a question or volunteer.
4. Make 2 new, meaningful connections.  (You must BE THE ONE, friends!)

Saying yes to this room and saying yes to getting uncomfortable at The Bliss Project was the catalyst for my self-belief, growth, drive, and success. 

Today, I am obsessed with in-person events, both attending and hosting.  Over the years, I have had the privilege of gifting many, many live event tickets to those who would not have otherwise attended an in-person event.  And, let me tell you my heart is so full thinking about their transformations!!  

Below are pictures of a couple of the amazing humans that were recipients of gifted tickets, and kind words that one of the amazing individuals wrote to me afterwards:

“Carmen, It has been a blessing getting to know you. Ever since I won the giveaway I have been able to experience your love, your kindness and your generosity. The conference, the speakers and attendees and all amazing and a beautiful example to me. I am in awe of what I experienced this weekend. Thank you for giving me the privilege of attending. Coming has changed my life and my vision you have changed my soul. You taught me new ways of giving and receiving love, THANK YOU!!!” – Magdalena

Reflecting on where we are today with The Amplified Life Company, our mission was born out of the type of transformation and connection that can only be experienced at an in-person event, which is this: 

To significantly improve the lives of over 1 million leaders by amplifying their gifts, voices, lives, and businesses through high-level collaboration, personal growth, and learning.

It is also why one of our core beliefs is:

Your network is your net worth, and it begins where your skillset ends and is the catalyst to your next level.  

Which was also highly influenced by Lori Harder, all because I got myself in that room!  Are you ready to get in the room during the second half of 2014?   I have put together a list of my top recommendations you can download HERE, which includes our signature event, The Amplified Life World Conference– the only live event where you can achieve significant results in less than one year!

Now you’re probably having a hard time picking which one!  I have recorded two podcasts for you about in-person events, listen to help you decide.  

How to make the most out of in-person events

My own personal experience and recap of 3 in-person events

If you still have more questions or want to chat, please feel free to reach out to us at hello@carmenohling.com

I hope to see you in multiple rooms during the second half of 2024! 

For more tips and resources on BEING THE ONE, follow us, The Amplified Life Company @carmenohling

The vision and purpose at The Amplified Life Company:

“Be the one to show the world how truly great life can be!”

The mission at The Amplified Life Company:

To significantly improve the lives of over 1 million leaders by amplifying their gifts, voices, lives, and businesses through high-level collaboration, personal growth, and learning.

I am writing a book.

Well, technically, last year, I wrote a rough draft of a book.

I committed to the priority of writing this year in a substantial way, multiple times a week, in order to produce another manuscript, a book proposal and sign with a book agent.

I just did our mid-year review, both personally and as a company.

Can you guess how much progress I have made towards the new manuscript?

Zero.

You read that right, zero.

I do have to give myself a small amount of credit because I have written some pretty compelling newsletters this year both to you, our community and posted on LinkedIn.

This work is not wasted, it’s quality and impactful for the readers and practice for me…

….but, that does not substantially get me closer to my goal.

Have you reflected on your 2024 priorities and goals yet?  If not, now is the time!

You see, this lack of perceived progress could be discouraging, in fact, many times in the past, not achieving the outcome I set out to achieve would have been extremely discouraging, and in fact I may have even counted myself out completely from continuing. 

This year is different.  My mindset is different.  I see through a lens of expansion vs limitation and know that these results are only information.  This information is what I can use as fuel to make a different decision, take action, and build a sense of enthusiasm for the dream.  They mean nothing about my worth or ability, and I hold no judgement.

Maybe you’re in my boat, too.  If so, here’s what I am doing to move forward:

Instead of asking what I did wrong, I asked what did I learn?  I learned that I do very well with discipline, planning, organization, and accountability.  When I go through times of my plate being full, I am not giving 100% to these 4 pillars of success.  Why?  Because they take time; they take building in the whitespace to think, reflect, and plan.  My ego self likes to be a “do-er” and it’s very easy for me to start “doing” but often it’s not on the things that really matter, the things that will really move the needle.

I am learning that when I do these two things weekly and daily, I can strongly uphold these pillars:

1. Sunday planning session for the week ahead.  This means planning out my calendar, my workouts, doing some meal prep, working with Joal to sync up our weeks, delegating, and planning my 20% that I will do in each daily work session.
2. No matter what, each day I complete my task that is part of my 20% (the 20% is the important needle-moving tasks that only I can do), write out 3 WINS at the end of each day, 3 things I am grateful for, and something that I learned.  This ensures that I have momentum towards my priorities and I stay high vibe, aligned and in a growth mindset.
3. I communicate my goals to others (to help hold me accountable) and I also communicate my fears and doubts that come up during the week so that I can quickly get back into alignment and in action.

The next thing that I am doing is weekly tracking, with a new tracking sheet for my KPIs (key performance indicators) for both our company and my personal goals.

Instead of waiting until the end of the quarter or month, we are reviewing this weekly, all through the lens of these two things:

1. What can we celebrate this week?
2. What did we learn this week?
3. Who do we need to help?
4. How did I serve that I am the most proud of?
5. What one focus for the upcoming week will make the biggest impact?

So here we are now into the second week of July and I am writing again in a substantial way.  Writing that sentence brought a huge smile to my face.  I hope that you can review your 2024 progress to reflect, adjust, and take action as well.

Before you know it, we’ll be smiling together.  (Please do send a pic and tag me @carmenohling)

Here’s to an abundance of success and learning in 2024,

Carmen

Society talks a lot about this idea of work-life balance.  To me, there is no such thing as balance, but there is integration.  Integration of your deepest priorities in this season of your life.  Ensuring you have vision, clarity, and focus on these priorities, and take the steps necessary each day to fulfill them. 

In both our workplace training, and 1-1 coaching we teach this and it’s a game-changer for so many individuals and teams.  

Two specific results we’ve seen are:

1.   Dreaming a new dream that’s not limited to what everyone around you is doing and then going all in. Renting out their home and traveling the world doing work they love as a family. Learning, growing, and exploring together.
2.   Developing team communication “agreements” that greatly reduced distractions, misunderstandings, and misguided urgency that is not an urgent matter.  Leaving the team feeling less overwhelmed, feeling more supported, and doubling their productivity.

One great example of work-life integration comes from Netflix co-founder Mark Randolph, and he writes:

I’ve worked hard, for my entire career, to keep my life balanced with my job. In my book, I write about my Tuesday date nights with my wife. For over thirty years, I had a hard cut-off on Tuesdays. Rain or shine, I left at exactly 5 pm and spent the evening with my best friend. We would go to a movie, have dinner, or just go window-shopping downtown together.

Nothing got in the way of that. No meeting, no conference call, no last-minute question or request. If you had something to say to me on Tuesday afternoon at 4:55, you had better say it on the way to the parking lot. If there is a crisis, we are going to wrap it up by 5:00.

Those Tuesday nights kept me sane. And they put the rest of my work in perspective.

I resolved a long time ago to not be one of those entrepreneurs on their 7th startup and their 7th wife. In fact, the thing I’m most proud of in my life is not the companies I started, it’s the fact that I was able to start them while staying married to the same woman; having my kids grow up knowing me and (best as I can tell) liking me, and being able to spend time pursuing the other passions in my life.

That’s my definition of success.

It seems to me that Mark is clear on his priorities: self, wife, family, work – in that order.  I am sure that the integration of these 4 things ebb and flow over the years but I am 100% obsessed with the fact that the Tuesday nights with his wife never wavered, nor did the time with his kids, or the time he takes for himself.

What is your work-life integration like?  Email me at carmen@carmenohling.com and let me know!

Here’s to designing and living lives we love,

Carmen