I’ve been half-assing the most important part of my day.

I’ve been half-assing the most important part of my day.

by | Sep 1, 2026 | Uncategorized

TL;DR: Reflection and clarity are what deepen your roots, so you can stay steady no matter what’s blowing through your life. I’m inviting you to a 30-Day Reflection Challenge, plus two chances to join me in person this month, one on the West Coast and one on the East Coast.

Yesterday, during my morning reflection time, I realized something. I had been half-assing it for the past month.

My schedule has been packed. I feel genuinely blessed about that. But the time that matters most, the time I use to actually reflect, is the time I had been neglecting.

Honestly, most of us neglect reflection in our lives and our leadership. We put it off until we “have time.” And that time never comes. Can you feel me?

For me, reflection matters because of a paradox I get to hold at the same time. It allows me to be grateful, proud, discerning, and forward-looking, all at once. I get to look back and look forward without one canceling out the other.

And, of course, daily reflection is backed by research. A Harvard Business School study found that people who took time to reflect performed nearly 23 percent better than those who didn’t take the time to pause and reflect. 

A few weeks ago, in one of those same morning reflection sessions, I wrote this in my journal:

“A tree is steadfast not because the wind stops blowing, but because the roots go deep.”

Reflection deepens your roots. Clarity deepens your roots. And deep roots are what let you stay standing when the wind picks up, because it will.

So here is where I want you to start.

Write out your dream day. Make it plain. Put it on paper, in as much detail as you can stand.

Where are you? What time do you wake up? What do you do first? What does it feel like in your body? What are you wearing? Who is with you? Where do you go? What does your environment look like? What impact are you making? How are you taking care of yourself? How are you nurturing the relationships that matter to you? What does the end of the day feel like? Where are you having fun?

Write all of it down, in detail.

Once you do that, you are clear on what you want. Now comes the harder part. What values does that dream day point to? And what behaviors, done daily, actually get you there?

That is where the 30-Day Reflection Challenge comes in.

The 30-Day Reflection Challenge
I am challenging you to join me for the next 30 days. Write it out with pen and paper. It sounds simple. It will change your life.

Three questions, every day:

  1. What were my wins today?
  2. What did I learn?
  3. Did my actions align with my values and the impact I want to make?

At the end of the 30 days, go back and read everything you wrote.  It will significantly shift things for you, I promise. 

I also want to see you in person this month.

There are two chances to join me.

West Coast: Bend, Oregon — September 9: Leadership Workshop, “The Real Reason Your People Are Leaving,” with the Oregon Christian Chamber. Grab your spot here.

East Coast: Miami, Florida — September 22: Women’s Leadership Breakfast, “Secure Your Seat at the Table,” with the Florida Banking Forum, sponsored by International Finance Bank (IFB). Secure your place in the room here. (This is an intimate gathering on purpose; seats are limited)

So, what do you want? Are you clear on it yet?

Get clear on what you want, commit to the 30-Day Reflection Challenge, and tell me what comes up for you. Email me at carmen@carmenohling.com. I’d love to hear from you. I hope to see you this month, in person, on one coast or the other.

Let’s go deeper and live richer, fuller lives together.

Carmen
CEO & Founder, The Amplified Life Company

What If You Don’t Need to Change?

What If You Don’t Need to Change?

by | Aug 3, 2026 | Uncategorized

Last month, I traveled more than I have in 2026 thus far.

Taken by my iPhone, July 2026 in Bend, Oregon

A few long flights and a handful of different cities. I didn’t experience exhaustion that comes not from doing too much, but at times I felt a good depletion at the end of the day from being fully present for it all. And somehow, in the middle of it, in the boardrooms, client meetings, living rooms, and on long walks, the same conversation kept finding me.

First, it was a family member. Then another. Both had recently started therapy, or were thinking seriously about it. They asked me variations of the same quiet question, the kind people ask when they’re finally ready to be honest with themselves:

“Do you think I need to change?”

Then, a few weeks later, I was on a long walk with a CEO I’ve been working with for a while. He’s both brilliant and accomplished. The kind of person who has been in the work of personal development for years. And somewhere between the trees and the sky, they said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“I keep trying to change, to get better, and it feels exhausting.”

Viktor Frankl wrote:

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

It’s a powerful idea. But I want to offer you something that’s been sitting with me since those conversations from my trip in July.

What if the challenge isn’t to change ourselves?

What if it’s to understand ourselves, and from that understanding, we get to choose to relate differently?

There’s a version of personal development that operates on a quiet but persistent belief: that who you are right now is a problem to be solved. That the goal of all this reflection, all this work, is to become a different person. A better one. A fixed one.

And I understand why it feels that way. When we recognize a pattern that’s costing us, in our relationships, in how we lead, in how we move through the world, the instinct is to grab hold of it and get rid of it.

I know I felt it many times before: “ Why can’t I just change, just stop doing that, just be different?”

But what if that very instinct is what’s keeping us stuck?

What I’ve seen, time and time again with the brilliant individuals we work with and what I watched ripple through those conversations on my trip, is that the deeper shift doesn’t come from changing who we are.

It comes from understanding why we are the way we are.

And from that understanding, we stop being at war with ourselves. We start making different decisions. Not because we forced ourselves to, but because we genuinely see things differently now.

That’s not change. That’s clarity.

Think about a pattern you’ve been trying to “fix” about yourself. Maybe it’s how you respond to pressure, how you avoid a certain kind of conversation, or how you lead when things get hard.

Now ask yourself:

Do I fully understand why I do this?

Not the surface answer. The real one.

What has this pattern protected you from?

What has it cost you?

Where did it come from and why, at some point, did it make complete sense?

Because when you truly understand that, when you can hold it with curiosity instead of judgment, you don’t need to force yourself to change. You start responding differently because you’re seeing from a different place.

Understanding, acceptance, and then action is the real work.

Wayne Dyer wrote:

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

This is what I came home thinking about. And it’s what I want to leave with you this week.

Not: what do you need to change about yourself?

But: what do you not yet fully understand about yourself?

Sit with that one.

Here’s to understanding ourselves a little more this week and letting go of all that self-imposed pressure,

Carmen
CEO & Founder, The Amplified Life Company

If this resonated, I’d love to hear what it brought up for you. Leave a comment below or email me at carmen@carmenohling.com.

If you’re curious about working together, reach out directly or visit The Amplified Life Company website. We work with leaders and teams through 1-1 coaching, group workshops, and keynote speaking.

MY CURRENT STRUGGLE

by | Feb 25, 2018 | Uncategorized

We all struggle. 

We are all more alike than we are different.

What once worked for us may not work in the present. 

Control is a funny thing, the more you try to control the more you seem lose control.

Often what people present in person or online is not a true reflection of their current state.

I was hesitant to make this post today.  It is raw and real but I know that I am not the only one that struggles and so I am sharing my story with you in hopes that it will help.  In hopes that it will help you stop controlling, that it will help you to find more joy in our everyday, and under it all, help you to love yourself no matter what.  For me that means no matter what weight or body composition I am.  This is my current struggle..

My husband’s 40th birthday is March 15th.  I always do something fun to surprise him for his birthday and this year is not different.  My body and hormones have been all over the place this year since regaining my menstrual cycle in January after it being gone for about a year, since my body fat percentage was so low from competing in bodybuilding shows.  There’s these favorite pants that I have that my husband loves my booty in, and while I can put them on right now they don’t actually “fit” – if you know what I mean.  So, I set out to lose a couple lbs before his birthday and get my ass looking right in his favorite pants.  Nothing drastic, just starting to track my macros again and be very consistent with my nutrition and workouts to tighten up a bit.  We are now on week 4.  My results?  I’ve gain weight.  To be clear, I have gained 12 lbs- in the last 2 days alone I’ve gained 5lbs.  This morning I saw a number on the scale that I have not seen in over 4 years.  When I saw that number today, I could have done one of two things- tighten the control, scrutinize my diet and exercise more, do more everyday to control this weight loss OR sit and do a little inquiry.  Don’t get me wrong, yesterday I picked tighten control and doing more, and that shit did not work.  Today, I chose inquiry.  What does inquiry mean?  Inquiry is simple, it’s asking yourself those tough questions- you know those ones that you try to avoid- then answering them.  Answering them honestly and completely.  You may not have all the answers at first, but they will come don’t stress.

Here is a snapshot of what I asked myself this morning:

What are you avoiding when you try to control?

What are you learning from this current struggle?

Why does the scale matter so much to you right now?

Is your “ideal” body image slightly disillusioned by your super lean body when competing?

What or who’s expectation are your trying to live up to?

What matters most in your life right now?

How can I help others with what I am going through?

Here are some of my thoughts from my journal:

Controlling food is easy for me.  Controlling food allows me to focus on something simple and not worry about what is coming up for me.  I am more than my weight and body image and YES I do hold myself to a higher, possibly impossible standard because of being lean so often over the last 5 years.  I care what I look like too much.  I am comparing myself to others in the fitness industry too much.  I need to focus on what I love about my body and what it can do for me.  I have MS and I have had if for over 10 years.  I can still walk, talk, see and pretty much have zero symptoms because of my healthy lifestyle- I need to be SO SUPER grateful for this HUGE fact.  The scale only matters in my head, no one else cares what I weigh. My value is not tied to the number on the scale.  Joal (hubs) still loves me and thinks I am drop-dead gorgeous if I don’t wear his favorite pants.  In fact, he loves my curvy body WAY more than my super lean body.  What matters most now is that I find time to smile and laugh daily, that I fulfill my purpose in life to help others on their health journey, that I find time to connect and build relationships and that I love myself- NOW, TODAY, not when I reach a certain number on the scale, fit into a certain pair of pants or live up to the body composition expectation that I have built in my own head that no one else gives a shit about.  This self-love is what will bring me true inner joy, freedom and confidence.  If I think about it, even when I am super lean. I still have doubts in my head about myself.  Love myself today and tomorrow and when I am curvy and when I am lean and all the days in between…

This shit is hard. It’s not fun but once you can get to the other side, it’s worth it.  It’s so worth the feeling of freedom, the feeling of confidence, the feeling of true self-love.

So that’s my story for today.  I hope that by reading this you find comfort in the fact that we all struggle.  We are all one.  And that together, we can all lift each other up instead of secretly tearing ourselves down.

Please feel free to reach out if you want to connect on this topic. 

Email me at: carmen@carmenohling.com

By the way, I am still going to be eating nutritious food and working out consistently- I am not stopping that… just simply stopping all the controlling, numbing and stupid unachievable expectations that I could never meet.

Sending each of you lots of love and light today.

Carmen