Why redefining success might be the most strategic leadership move you’ll ever make.
I sat down on the tall brown stool on my balcony in Miami Beach, setting my journal, pen, coffee, and water gently on the table in front of me. I took a deep breath, felt my shoulders drop, and looked up. The early morning sun had just started illuminating the tops of the deep green palm trees. The ocean shimmered in the distance, calm and endless.
In that moment, no milestones reached for the day, no boxes checked on the to-do list, yet I felt fully alive.
Not because I had accomplished anything.
But because I had finally slowed down long enough to notice.
And I realized: This is happiness. Not the version we’re sold based on success, acquisition, or approval, but a state that’s always available, if we’re present enough to choose it.
How Do You Define Happiness?
At a recent keynote, Harvard professor and best-selling author Arthur Brooks (co-author of Build the Life You Want with Oprah) offered a deceptively simple formula for happiness:
“The happiest people have, in both balance and abundance, three things: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.”
No mention of titles. No need for a net worth benchmark. No endless list of goals.
Brooks calls these the macronutrients of happiness, essential, non-negotiable, and nourishing for the long game of life and leadership:
- Enjoyment is not just fleeting pleasure, but shared joy. Think laughter over a meal, meaningful conversation, or a team win celebrated together.
- Satisfaction comes from effort and perseverance. It’s the reward of discipline and delayed gratification. But it’s also fleeting, unless we pause to acknowledge it.
- Meaning is your internal compass. It’s the “why” behind your work and your life. The story you’re telling about who you are and what matters most.
Brooks also identifies four pillars of a meaningful life:
Faith. Family. Friendship. Work.
Faith doesn’t have to be religious; it can be trust in something bigger than yourself. Nature. Service. Purpose.
And then he dropped this truth bomb:
“Your life is your enterprise, and you are the founder and CEO. Love and happiness are your currency. Do you know how to accumulate more of them?”
For years, I was the high-functioning achiever. Maybe you are, too.
Chasing the next thing. Then the next. Then the next.
Each milestone moved the goalpost. Rest, play, or even celebration? It was all postponed because I hadn’t “earned it” yet. And every time I hit a goal, I raised the bar again, thinking this time the satisfaction would last.
But it never did.
It wasn’t until I slowed down, really slowed down, that I realized:
I had been bargaining with my happiness.
I believed I could buy it with productivity, perfection, or performance. But happiness isn’t a transaction. It’s a practice, simply because it’s always available.
A New Way to Measure Success (That Actually Creates It)
Today, I measure success differently. By what I feel, and by what I help others feel.
- Personally: Did I wake up feeling energized and enthusiastic for the day ahead?
- Professionally: Am I doing meaningful work I love, with people who I enjoy and respect deeply, who are also lit up by what they do, and together, are we making a real impact in the lives of leaders?
If the answer is yes, I know we are building something special, sustainable, and significantly impactful.
This isn’t about rejecting ambition. It’s about redefining it.
Success, for me, now includes:
- Solitude that restores
- Discipline that focuses
- Vision that inspires
- Connection that energizes
- Self-leadership that sustains
It’s building the internal landscape of a fulfilling life, one that you don’t have to escape from, numb out in, or earn back with hustle culture burnout.
If you’re a CEO, executive, founder, or changemaker, here’s the reality:
Your inner life drives your outer results.
The energy you bring into a room, your presence, your clarity, your groundedness. That’s what sets the tone. Teams don’t just follow what you say. They mirror what you model.
That’s why the leaders we coach aren’t just refining strategy, they’re redefining identity.
Because leadership isn’t just about what you do.
It’s about who you’re becoming in the process.
It’s about who you’re becoming in the process.
If this resonates, here are 3 questions to reflect on this week:
- When do I feel most alive in my day? Can I create more space for that feeling?
- What am I chasing right now that’s costing me joy?
- How would I lead differently if I believed happiness was the path, not the reward?
Small, consistent shifts = Big results.
So I’ll leave you with the question I started with:
What if happiness isn’t something to chase?
What if it’s something you practice, moment by moment, breath by breath?
I’d love to hear what this sparked for you. Drop a comment below or email me directly at carmen@carmenohling.com
Let’s stop postponing peace.
Let’s build leadership legacies that feel as good on the inside as they look on paper.
Let’s build leadership legacies that feel as good on the inside as they look on paper.