Carmen Ohling, Author at Carmen Ohling, Keynote Speaker + Corporate Life and Leadership Training Coach

Why Stillness and Reflection Are Crucial for High-Performing Leaders

by Carmen Ohling | Nov 28, 2024 | Uncategorized

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

It’s the holiday season, which prompts so many people to fill their calendars and attempt to do it all…. Can you relate?

This season of “busy” is the inspiration for this blog….

I recently heard someone say, “Show me the ways you avoid stillness, and I’ll show you the patterns that run your life.”

That phrase has stayed with me, urging me to examine my own defaults—whether it’s throwing myself into work, tackling endless projects, or even organizing and cleaning. None of these activities are inherently bad, but they can become distractions when used to avoid stillness and reflection.

What I’ve been realizing is that stillness isn’t just about physically stopping; it’s about creating inner spaciousness. You can move through life with external activity while maintaining an inner sense of stillness, or you can be outwardly motionless yet internally consumed by chaos and avoidance. The intention behind your actions is what truly matters.

For leaders, executives, and entrepreneurs, embracing stillness and reflection is not optional—it’s essential for high performance.

Here are some reasons why, along with the challenges that arise when stillness is neglected:

Why Stillness and Reflection Are Crucial for High-Performing Leaders

Clarity in Decision-Making

Reflection allows leaders to cut through the noise and make better, more informed decisions.
When we don’t pause, we risk making reactive, short-sighted choices driven by stress or urgency rather than strategy.

Renewed Creativity and Problem-Solving

Creativity thrives in spaciousness. Many breakthrough ideas emerge in moments of stillness, not during frantic work.
Without stillness, innovation stalls, and we stay stuck in old patterns of thinking.

Emotional Awareness

Stillness provides space to notice and process emotions rather than being controlled by them.
Leaders who avoid reflection often experience burnout, frustration, or even conflict because they lack the emotional awareness that comes from slowing down.

Connection to Purpose

In the constant hustle, it’s easy to lose sight of why we’re doing what we do. Reflection anchors us to our core mission and values.
Without this connection, leaders often feel unfulfilled, no matter how much they achieve.

Healthier Relationships

Stillness fosters self-awareness, helping leaders show up meaningfully in their relationships.
Avoidance patterns often lead to strained communication or disconnection from teams, partners, and loved ones.

Sustainability of Energy

Overworking without reflection depletes energy reserves and makes recovery harder.
Leaders who prioritize stillness cultivate resilience and avoid long-term burnout.

Challenges of Avoiding Stillness

Perpetual Busyness as a Badge of Honor

Many leaders mistake busyness for productivity, staying trapped in a cycle of overwork that limits their true potential.

Missed Opportunities for Growth

Without reflection, we don’t see where we’re stuck or where we need to grow. Blind spots remain hidden, often at great cost.

Living in Reaction Mode

Avoiding stillness keeps us in survival mode, constantly reacting instead of proactively leading.

Compromised Well-Being

Chronic avoidance of reflection often leads to stress-related health issues, including exhaustion, anxiety, or even physical illness.

Disconnect from the Bigger Picture

Leaders who never slow down can become consumed by the day-to-day grind, losing perspective on the broader vision.

How to Incorporate Stillness into Leadership

Micro-Moments of Pause: Start with small practices—like a few deep breaths before meetings or a quiet walk without your phone.
Journaling: Set aside time to write about your challenges, wins, and lessons learned. This can clarify patterns and uncover hidden insights.
Intentional Rest: Schedule blocks of unstructured time in your calendar—not for tasks, but for reflection or simply being.
Mindful Action: Engage in activities with full attention, turning routine moments into opportunities for stillness.
Seek Feedback: Sometimes, others can reflect patterns you may not notice. Trusted colleagues or coaches can provide this perspective.

Did this week’s blog resonate with you? Comment below and let me know how you’re going to incorporate moments of stillness in your life and work.

The Only Certainty in Life… and 4 Simple Steps to Embrace Uncertainty

by Carmen Ohling | Nov 14, 2024 | Uncategorized

An October 2019 study about the Psychology of (Un) Certainty found this:

People strive for certainty due to an inherent desire for it. Uncertainty seems to be stressful in the same unconscious manner as anger and fear. We cannot really control this feeling, and we feel relaxed only when we feel certain about what we know or about what we should anticipate. However, our world is filled with uncertainty, and so are most aspects of our life. Therefore, instead of looking for certainty where it does not exist, we had better learn to appreciate uncertainty and learn to live and deal with it.

Although it is elusive, we still seek certainty and control in multiple aspects of our lives and businesses. We put off pursuing meaningful relationships, making bold career moves, or acting on the ideas that genuinely excite us. In our quest for control, we can end up sacrificing growth and fulfillment, putting our dreams on hold while we wait for clarity that might never come.

One thing is certain: Death.

If death is the only certainty in life, why are we choosing to live like we have all the time in the world?

Why are we not going after our dreams, having the conversation, making the difficult decisions, letting go, starting something new, having more fun, spending meaningful time with loved ones, or checking that next challenge off your bucket list?

Because we are doing this one thing: Waiting.

As busy, successful leaders, we often find ourselves waiting—waiting for the perfect time, the right conditions, or that signal telling us it’s finally safe to make a move. We wait for more data, for the market to settle, for just a few more resources, or for things to feel a little less chaotic or uncertain.

For many of us, waiting feels like the “responsible choice,” a way to manage risks and protect everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. But this waiting, rooted in our need for certainty, quietly holds us back.

What if, instead of waiting, we embraced the unpredictable and leaned into the unknown?

Let’s put this into facts and numbers.

The average life expectancy of a man in the U.S. is 74.8 years, while the life expectancy for a woman is 80.2 years.

Today I am 43 years old, which means if I lived to the average life expectancy of 80 years old, I only have 37 more years to go. How many years do you have left?

But, what if I also told you that 5% of men in the US die before the age of 45, and 3% of women die before the age of 45. Which is the death of approximately 17 million men and 10 million women…..

… and you could be one of them. I could be one of them. We could all be one of them…

and this is CERTAIN.

Like many, I spent much of my life and career driven by the need for certainty and control. Before attending an event, I’d want to know who would be there, how long it would last, and what we’d be doing.

At work, before taking on a new project, I’d look for detailed information in advance so I could either prepare or even avoid areas where I felt less confident.

This craving for certainty kept me constantly on edge—always planning and preparing for the future, which made it nearly impossible to relax and enjoy the present moment.

Why did I live this way for so long?

Today, the reasons are crystal clear, and they boil down to two key factors:

I wanted to feel in control. Even if it was an illusion, this sense of control gave me a comforting level of predictability in both my personal and professional life.
I was deeply concerned with how others perceived me. I wanted to be accepted, appreciated, and acknowledged—in short, I wanted to be liked by everyone.

This mix of seeking comfort and maintaining a certain appearance trapped me in a cycle of never feeling “good enough.” It led to constant stress, pressure, overwhelm, and a sense of scarcity. I found myself comparing, judging, and always striving to live up to an unattainable standard.

To break free from the need for control and certainty, here are four small, daily steps you can take to embrace uncertainty, step out of your comfort zone, and use your unique gifts to pursue a more fulfilling life:

1. Practice Letting Go

Identify one small area each day where you can relinquish control—whether it’s delegating a task, letting a meeting go slightly off-script, or accepting that you might not know every detail in advance. This builds resilience and comfort with unpredictability, allowing you to move away from perfectionism and into purpose. Then, “collect evidence” that letting go actually proves to be better than white-knuckling your life.

2. Reflect on the “Why” Behind Your Actions

Before making decisions, pause and ask yourself if you’re acting out of a desire for control, fear of judgment, or simply habit. This self-awareness can help you prioritize genuine growth and purpose over merely maintaining appearances or following societal expectations.

3. Set One Bold, Uncomfortable Goal

Each day, set a small goal that feels a bit out of your comfort zone. This could be starting a meaningful conversation, embracing a new opportunity, or working on a skill you’ve always wanted to master. Taking these steps can help you break free from self-imposed limitations and live in alignment with the gifts and passions placed inside you.

4. Appreciate the Present Moment

Regularly remind yourself that life is limited, and uncertainty is the norm. Embracing this reality allows you to focus on using your God-given talents and pursuing what truly matters. When we let go of control, we make space for inspiration and growth, honoring the unique gifts placed within us.

The greatest disservice you can do is to ignore these gifts, staying confined within a life of comfort, societal norms, pressure, and unfulfillment.

By choosing to fully embrace who you are and stepping into your potential, you honor both yourself and the purpose you were created for.

Remember, death is the only certainty we have—so why not spend your time truly living?

Did you relate to this week’s newsletter? Comment down and let me know!

– Executive Coaching is our zone of genius at The Amplified Life Company –

Set up a free consultation HERE to learn more about how we can help guide

you in your personal and professional life.

This Is Often the Only Thing Preventing You from Learning

by Carmen Ohling | Nov 7, 2024 | Uncategorized

“In many cases, you’ll find the only thing preventing you from learning is your ego.

No one enjoys feeling foolish, but attempting something new requires that you climb down from your perch and struggle as a beginner. You must ask questions that reveal your ignorance or attempt skills that make you look uncoordinated.

Learning demands the willingness to live in a brief state of discomfort. You must believe that looking like a fool for an hour will not ruin your reputation for life.”

– James Clear

FACT: Most people don’t ask questions; they pretend like they know things.

WHY: Because they think if they ask questions, they look dumb.

TRUTH: The better the question, the better the result.

I get it—I’ve been there. For years, I believed that success meant showing up with all the answers. I’d spend late nights researching and memorizing, hoping that I could seem like the “expert” the next day, even though I felt I wasn’t.

This desire to appear knowledgeable was my internal need to gain approval and acceptance, which kept me stuck.

I said “yes” only to opportunities I knew I’d succeed in, staying in my comfort zone. My world was small because I only engaged in spaces where I felt safe.

The truth is, the most growth doesn’t come from knowing everything; it comes from being open enough to ask, “What don’t I know here?” “What can others teach me?” or “What am I learning from this?” even in the face of a perceived failure.

Once I started to let go of that need to appear fully in control of knowing it all, I opened myself up to powerful insights that would’ve otherwise stayed hidden.

I began seeking out rooms with people who had knowledge, experience, and perspectives beyond my own. These were spaces where I wasn’t the one “in charge” but the one asking questions, listening deeply, and gaining insights that would change the way I worked and lived.

In these rooms, I learned that power isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being in the right places, with the right people, and absorbing as much as possible.

The humility of not knowing everything opened doors I hadn’t even considered before.

People wanted to work with me because I was willing to say, “I don’t have all the answers—what can we come up with together?”

I saw that asking genuine questions was a strength, not a weakness. Through listening, I gained the insights and tools that a formal education, or no amount of late-night cramming could’ve provided.

Today, because I embraced the power of asking, listening, and connecting, I’ve achieved things I once only dreamed of.

I’ve built a thriving business, stood on stages sharing my story, led high-performing teams, and connected with some of the best minds in my industry.

All of this was possible not because I knew everything but because I was willing to step into rooms where I didn’t have to.

By letting go of the need to be the “smartest in the room,” I’ve been able to grow, succeed, and help others do the same in ways I never could have alone.

There’s a second part to this breakthrough in my journey, and I’ll share it and teach it to you in next week’s blog.

But, until then, will you join me in “not being a know-it-all all” and step into a life of growth, connection, fulfillment, and fun?

Comment below and share your thoughts, because I have an invitation for you if you’re ready to join me!

The Moment That Changed My Life: My Journey of Curiosity

by Carmen Ohling | Oct 31, 2024 | Uncategorized

I remember the day I realized that through all my striving, achieving, goal setting, and planning, I was still deeply unfulfilled.

Specifically, it was November 2003, and I was sitting in my Tahoe before kicking off the day with a team sales meeting, drinking my Americano, and planning the day out for my team and me. It wasn’t unusual for me to arrive early because I liked to beat traffic, and even more, I was always prepared. I prided myself on running some of the most impactful sales meetings, leaving the team energized and focused.

At this point in my 15-year corporate leadership career, I was running the number two revenue-producing cost center in the state of Oregon, helping to hire and train my peers through our management training program, and was counted on as an integral part of the regional team. I was highly respected, and my annual bonus was approaching the point where it would exceed my salary—something that’s a great sign if you work for a “pay-for-performance” organization.

But on this crisp fall day in Portland, Oregon, something different happened. I began to cry.

At this point in my life, I was all execution. I viewed crying as a sign of weakness, not something I did in front of others. I allowed myself to cry for a few minutes, mostly because I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. I had worked so hard for so long to not feel—to be the one that was strong, that could make it through anything—but in this moment, I felt weak.

I’d love to tell you that all the answers came to me that morning, but they didn’t. Honestly, I sucked it up and went on with my day. But when I went home that night, I told my husband Joal what had happened. And you know what he did? He asked me one question that would change the rest of my personal and professional life.

He asked me, “What’s wrong?”

For the first time in my life, I said, “I don’t know…”

You see, I always had a plan. I was always prepared. I controlled all the variables. I said yes to things I knew I’d excel at. My career and way of being were my identity.

But the most powerful part of that question wasn’t just admitting I didn’t know. It was the second half of my answer: “… but I am going to find out!”

And that, my friends, was the beginning of my journey of curiosity. I began asking myself deeper questions and, perhaps for the first time, answering them truthfully. The moment I realized I didn’t need to have all the answers, something shifted inside me forever.

Curiosity can be simply defined as a strong desire to discover something unknown. And if you can build this character trait in your life, so many dynamic opportunities, meaningful relationships, health, joy, and fulfillment will open to you.

Albert Einstein famously said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing… It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day.”

So today, I invite you to start—or maybe continue—your journey of curiosity with me. A good place to begin is with what you know for sure—the routines, the habits, the ideas, actions, places, or people you hold so tightly because they make you feel comfortable. Start asking questions there.

Below are a few of my favorite questions to ask when I feel that creeping sense of “nothing is necessarily wrong, but somehow nothing is right either”:

What else could be possible in this situation?
What am I holding onto that no longer serves me?
If I didn’t have to control the outcome, what new opportunities could emerge?
Who can I reach out to for a fresh perspective or deeper connection?

Curiosity unlocks possibilities and clears the path toward greater meaning in our lives.

Are you ready to embrace it?

Let’s start discovering together.

Breaking Free from the Treadmill of Success

by Carmen Ohling | Oct 24, 2024 | Uncategorized

I worked in finance for 16 years, specifically in corporate leadership. I remember one year getting ambitious and writing out my professional goals for the next three years—goals that I was sure would bring me success and satisfaction.

Fast forward three years, and I had met or exceeded all of them. But here’s the thing:

I wasn’t satisfied or particularly happy. I had reached the pinnacle of the success I had planned and strived for, but it didn’t bring the joy I had envisioned.

That’s when I started to wonder—could I really keep going like this? Could I keep working six days a week, 10+ hour days, like I had been doing? At some point, would my progress slow or stop? And what would happen then? Would I wind up looking back at my life with regrets, like so many people do at the end of their lives?

Top 5 Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

These reflections struck me deeply. Was there a way to get off what I now know as the “hedonic treadmill” of success, yet still be fulfilled, successful, and happy?

The answer, I quickly realized, was YES.

But creating a personal plan wasn’t enough. I began to see that God had been positioning me to help others uncover the same truths. The “secrets” I uncovered were honestly available to anyone with a will to live a life of joy and purpose—and who is willing to put in the work to achieve it.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more of my personal story and the specific, tactical steps I took to break free from the treadmill. These are steps you can replicate to create true success in your life and business—success that’s filled with joy, fulfillment, and a deep sense of purpose.

Step 1: Curiosity—What Else Could Be Possible?
The first step in this journey is simple but profound—curiosity. When I hit that wall of dissatisfaction, I could have kept pushing forward blindly, but instead, I got curious. I asked myself a simple yet life-changing question: What else could be possible?

Curiosity opened me up to new perspectives, fresh ideas, and a completely different approach to success. It was the first spark that ignited the fire of transformation.

One of the biggest lessons I learned during this time was that to truly expand what’s possible, you need to surround yourself with people whose realities reflect your dreams. Getting into environments where your goals are someone else’s normal pushes you to think bigger and stretch beyond your current limits. Mentors and peers who have already walked the path you’re aiming for can help you see the potential you might never have imagined on your own.

When you surround yourself with people who inspire you and challenge you to elevate, your curiosity naturally transforms into momentum—and that’s when real progress happens.

Over the next few blogs, we’ll dive deeper into exactly how you can tap into curiosity and leverage the power of mentorship and community to begin your own journey toward joy-filled success.

Curious? That’s a GOOD thing! – Stay tuned for the next steps!

Let’s get off the treadmill together. Your life, your business, and your opportunity to impact others can be more than just a grind—they can be joyful and truly meaningful.

To your next level,

Carmen

« Older Entries

Why Stillness and Reflection Are Crucial for High-Performing Leaders

Why Stillness and Reflection Are Crucial for High-Performing Leaders

Challenges of Avoiding Stillness

How to Incorporate Stillness into Leadership

The Only Certainty in Life… and 4 Simple Steps to Embrace Uncertainty

This Is Often the Only Thing Preventing You from Learning

The Moment That Changed My Life: My Journey of Curiosity

Breaking Free from the Treadmill of Success

STOP TRYING TO DO IT ALL AND BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE!