Carmen Ohling, Author at Carmen Ohling, Keynote Speaker + Corporate Life and Leadership Training Coach

What giving up coffee taught me about leadership (and the 80/20 rule)

by Carmen Ohling | Oct 2, 2025 | Uncategorized

September 15, 2025, marks the first day of a fast my husband and I are doing with our church, Transformation Church. Over the years, I’ve fasted from many things: sugar, alcohol, social media, and even TV.

This time, my husband smiled and said, “I think yours should be coffee.”

Instant resistance. I love my morning ritual. The warmth, the smell, the rhythm. I agreed, but inside I knew, I wasn’t convinced.

All weekend, the question lingered: Is coffee really what God is asking me to release?

If you’ve never prayed for direction, here’s what it feels like for me:

“God, I pray that you reveal to me the direction you have for me with fasting next week. I release control and allow you to guide me.”

And then you wait. Sometimes the answer comes as a whisper. Sometimes it comes as the same lesson repeating itself until you finally learn.

That’s what happened to me over the past two weeks. Everywhere I looked, I saw nudges about focus, potential, and execution.

And then it hit me:

I hadn’t chosen coffee because it was my true distraction.
I had chosen it because my husband suggested it.
It looked like alignment, but really, it was appeasement.

Here’s the guidance I received:

“You’ve built a structure that looks like alignment, but it’s actually distracting you. You’re still doing it your way, and it’s keeping you from what you truly want, and what I’ve called you to do.”

That stung. But it also freed me.

Instead of fasting from coffee, I’m fasting from false structures, the ones that make me feel productive but actually keep me from my 20%.

Here’s how it looks in practice:

Two daily deep work blocks focused only on the 20% of priorities that move the needle.
No phone until 11AM and starting every day with prayer, journaling, reading, meditation, and walking.
In-person meetings only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Ending each day no later than 4:30PM and shifting into what I have coined “vacation mode” for the remainder of the day, which includes rest, play, and presence.

The formula is simple:

Seeking < Solitude in Season + Structure = Synergy

And the leadership principle behind it is one I learned 27 years ago at JP Morgan Chase:

Twenty percent of your efforts drive eighty percent of your results.

Most leaders know this. Fewer live it.

That’s why they stay exhausted, busy in the 80% instead of impactful in the 20%.

But you don’t have to. You can fast from what’s distracting you, and finally lead in the 20%.

So here’s my question for you:

What one comfort, distraction, or false structure could you fast from this week so you can unlock your true 20%?

Share in the comments. I want to know.

What to Do When Tragedy Numbs You

by Carmen Ohling | Sep 25, 2025 | Uncategorized

How do you stay engaged, enthusiastic, and empowered when the world feels too heavy to hold?

Tragedy (noun): An event causing great suffering, destruction, or distress.

We’re not just seeing tragedy.
We’re swimming in it.

And if you’ve felt powerless lately, numb, overwhelmed, unsure how to respond, you’re not alone.

In the face of repeated heartbreak, the most human thing we can do is retreat. We protect our hearts. We focus inward. We survive. But when disconnection becomes our default, we lose something bigger than just our sense of safety; we lose our sense of purpose.

Over time, that numbness turns to apathy. And apathy doesn’t just rob us of empathy, it erodes our capacity for real leadership.

The good news? There is a different path.

My colleague Jason said something that hasn’t left me:

“We are at a crucial inflection point.”

And we are.

We can shrink, or we can choose to lead.

We can be the one who stays open.
The one who chooses presence over protection.
The one who leads with vision, even in uncertainty.

Here’s what helps me to anchor that choice:

4 Anchors for Vision-Led Leadership in a Disconnected World

1. Clarity – Choose your direction on purpose, even when the path isn’t clear. Lead with hope and conviction, not panic.

2. Curiosity – Stay open. Ask questions. Let go of being right. Commit to growth.

3. Compassion – Speak truth, even when it’s hard. Choose connection over comfort. Give, even when it’s inconvenient.

4. Consciousness – Practice reflection. Take personal responsibility. Create time for checking in with yourself through solitude, not isolation.

We may not be able to stop tragedy.
But we can stop letting it steal our presence.

When we live on purpose, out loud, we create ripples that become waves of change, compassion, and connection.

You’re Not in Too Many Meetings. You’re in Too Many Unconscious Meetings.

by Carmen Ohling | Sep 18, 2025 | Uncategorized

Ever walk out of a meeting and think, “Well, that was a colossal waste of time.”

Multiply that by 10, and you’ve got a typical week in corporate America.

According to HBR, the average executive spends 23 hours per week in meetings.

And 50% of them are ineffective.

That’s not just annoying. That’s expensive.

Let’s say your team has 8 people in a 60-minute meeting.

Each makes $90/hour = $720

Do that weekly? That’s $37,000 a year for one recurring meeting.

Now multiply that across your org. Add the cost of low engagement, resentment, and the recovery time it takes after a bad meeting. It’s a silent killer of momentum.

The Real Issue? Not Meetings. Leadership.

At The Amplified Life Company, we teach leaders to distinguish reactive leadership (aka Below the Line) from conscious, values-aligned leadership (Above the Line).

The same principle applies to meetings.

Bad meetings are a symptom of unconscious leadership:

No clear outcomes
Vague ownership
No emotional safety
Broken or unclear agreements
Disengagement masked as professionalism

Here’s how visionary leaders do it differently.

1. Start with an Emotional Check-In

Use emotional intelligence to humanize the space.

Let people name how they’re feeling, yes, even in “serious” meetings.

It’s not fluffy, it’s science.

Psychological safety is the foundation of high-performance teams.

2. Define the Outcome Before You Start

Ask: “What must we walk out of here having done, decided, or created?”

That’s your compass. Everything else is a detour.

3. Use “Above the Line” Prompts to Stay on Track

Pause mid-meeting to ask:

“Are we showing up above the line right now?”
“What don’t we see yet?”
“What’s a possibility we haven’t considered?”
“If we weren’t worried about being wrong, what idea would we try?”
“What would this look like if it were simple?”

This creates real-time accountability and raises the collective frequency of the conversation.

4. Track Agreements Like Gold

Every broken agreement is a trust leak.

Use language like:

“What’s the clear agreement here?”
“By when?”
“Are we all committed?”
“Is there anything left unsaid?”

Use integrity check-ins to restore alignment when things slip.

5. Close With Reflection, Not Just Action

High-performing teams slow down to speed up.

End with:

“What worked?”
“What could we do better?”
“How are we growing together?”

Make meetings a space of continuous leadership development, not just reading reports and giving boring updates.

Final Thought:

You don’t need fewer meetings.

You need more intentional, Above the Line meetings.

Meetings that:

Align your team
Accelerate decisions
Build trust
Activate ownership
Spark innovation

If your calendar feels like a life-sucking machine, it’s time to lead differently.

Grab our free Team Meeting Template and start transforming your meetings today.

Why Leaders Must Move Beyond High Performance to Embrace Peak Performance

by Carmen Ohling | Sep 11, 2025 | Uncategorized

For years, I have been thinking about, researching, testing, and coaching around high performance. This year, I decided: I am no longer coaching high performance.

Here’s why.

High performance has been glorified as the ultimate standard. It’s about discipline, efficiency, productivity, and measurable outcomes. It looks impressive on the outside. But for leaders, entrepreneurs, and high achievers, high performance has a hidden cost.

The Hidden Costs of High Performance

When we focus exclusively on high performance in one area, we often neglect the very things that sustain our leadership long-term: our health, our closest relationships, and our creativity.

Running at full throttle leads to less-than-optimal results over time.
Choosing control over flow blocks collaboration, trust, and innovation.
Defining worth by achievement means confidence collapses when results dip.

High performance may deliver results in the short term, but it compromises our capacity for vision, innovation, and fulfillment in the long term.

The Shift: Adeline Gray’s Example

U.S. wrestling champion Adeline Gray’s story illustrates this shift perfectly. By 2013, she was a three-time world champion, but the grind left her depleted. After finishing with a bronze, she nearly quit wrestling altogether.

Instead of forcing herself through another season, she paused. With her coaches’ encouragement, she reevaluated her training and mindset. She shifted from grinding harder to training smarter. She began listening to her body and aligning her routines with recovery, purpose, and well-being.

What happened? She came back stronger, winning two more world titles and qualifying for the Olympics in record time.

Her story reveals what leaders need most: results don’t multiply by pressure; they expand through alignment.

High Performance vs. Peak Performance

High performance = productivity, discipline, results (often at the cost of sustainability).
Peak performance = flow, presence, fulfillment, and results that last.

A high performer might grind through late nights to meet every deadline.

A peak performer manages energy, health, and relationships so their best thinking shows up at the right moments, without burnout, and while empowering others.

The Leadership Lesson

Peak performance isn’t about balance; it’s about integration. Integrating performance, health, relationships, and vision-driven purpose, so results come with sustainability and fulfillment.

As leaders, our challenge is not to press harder but to lead in a way that regenerates energy, expands vision, and accelerates results. Creating cultures where energy is renewed, creativity thrives, and results compound over time.

High performance delivers excellence.
Peak performance delivers excellence that expands with strength, regeneration, and a vision that leaves a legacy.

If you’re an executive or leader ready to shift from high performance to peak performance, let’s connect. At The Amplified Life Company, we help executives and teams stop burning fuel and start regenerating energy, so their leadership creates sustainable impact. Message me on LinkedIn or connect here at carmenohling.com.

5 Peak-Performance Lessons Every Executive Needs: What a DEXA Scan Taught Me About Leadership

by Carmen Ohling | Sep 4, 2025 | Uncategorized

I’ve been committed to health and leadership for most of my life. I’ve been weight-training since I was 17. I eat anti-inflammatory foods. I lead The Amplified Life Company, where I coach and train CEOs and executives to live and lead at peak performance levels.

So when I had a DEXA scan last month, I expected great results.

Instead, I discovered early signs of osteopenia, which is low bone density.

My first thought?
“This must be genetic.”
“I’m doing everything I can.”

But here’s the hard truth: that phrase, “I am doing everything I can,” is a lie leaders tell themselves. It feels like ownership, but it’s actually complacency. And complacency is the enemy of peak performance.

Here are the 5 biggest leadership lessons that moment gave me:

1. Repetition Without Reflection = Stagnation

Doing the same thing, even if it once worked, will eventually fail. Momentum becomes maintenance. Growth becomes survival. Leaders must reflect and adjust, not just repeat.

2. Good Enough Is Below the Line

“Good enough” isn’t neutral; it’s settling for less than your absolute best. And when leaders settle, they shrink back from the very potential God placed inside of them.

3. The Questions You Ask Shape Your Growth

The right questions open the door to transformation:

Where am I settling?
Where am I not fully taking responsibility?
What am I modeling for others?
Where am I avoiding the stairs in my health?
Who do I need to help me?
What is the next level of integrity or intentionality waiting for me?

4. Your Body Is the First Culture You Lead

If you tolerate sloppiness or avoidance personally, you’ll unconsciously model it professionally. Leadership starts with the standards you set for yourself.

5. Peak Performance Requires Raising Your Standards

For me, that means:

Re-evaluating sleep, nutrition, and hormone health.
Upping the intensity of my workouts.
Adding impact challenges like jumping and bounding.
Revisiting what “healthy” means for this phase of life.
Asking “Who can help me?” instead of “How can I do this alone?”

The Leadership Takeaway

Peak performance isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing better. Aligning with what’s needed now, not what was comfortable then.

When you raise your standards, your leadership sharpens, your influence deepens, and your energy becomes contagious.

So I’ll leave you with this:

What’s one standard you’ll raise today? Share it in the comments, I’d love to hear.

Because how you lead yourself is how you lead everything.

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