by Carmen Ohling | Jan 8, 2020 | Live.
Did you know that the words we say emit energy and that either gives us power or lessens our power?
As women, we’re taught to step back, to be more reserved, and to not shine as brightly as we should be shining every day. The language we’ve adopted feeds right into this which has sparked me to invite you to join the three day Sorry Experiment. I want all of you to be able to show up each and every day, shine your authentic light, and step into your beauty and all of your magic! I created the challenge because the truth is, saying sorry just takes away from all of those things. If the words that we choose to say guide both our thoughts and our actions (and they do!) it’s important to be careful when choosing them.
Here is the three day road map for you to follow:
Day 1: Assess The Situation
For Day 1, I want you to simply assess how many times you say, “sorry.” Maybe you’re walking in public and someone bumps into you and you say sorry. Or perhaps you’re washing your hands in the bathroom and there’s a line waiting which causes you to feel rushed, so you say sorry. Maybe someone expresses that they don’t like something, so you say sorry. Whatever it is, just note down the incident that occurred which prompted you to apologize.
Day 2: Observe Your Energy
Going back to how our words and thoughts either give us power or takes away from it, I want you to reflect on how you felt the moment after saying sorry. Here’s a personal example: One day, I was about to deboard a plane so I stood up to stretch my legs. The couple in front of me did the same, except when they stood up, they pushed me a little backwards which caused me to stand super close to the man behind me. I turned around and said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry for stepping into your bubble!” and the gentleman kindly said that I could step back if I needed to. However, the moment right after telling him I was sorry, I felt the energy in my body literally shrivel down. Once he gave me the permission to take up more space, I felt empowered. After that incident, I told myself that I was going to start catching myself with this because in all honesty, I didn’t truly feel sorry for stepping into his space. I didn’t feel remorseful or sad. Yet the words I chose made me feel smaller. So take some time to to revisit the moments you said you were sorry and reflect on how you felt afterwards.
Day 3: Choose Different Words
The more that you say something different or think a new thought, the more you’re able to authentically step into your power. Here are three common circumstances that we apologize for and words you can use instead of “sorry”!
Maybe you’ve taken a while to get back to someone by phone or email, or you took an extra day to fulfill on a request, here’s a perfect thing you can say: “Thank you so much for your patience with me while I {insert task or event}.”
Maybe you’re walking in public and you accidentally bump into someone, try saying “excuse me” or “pardon me”. There’s no reason to apologize for being in the world next to someone else!
Another common circumstance that people apologize in is when they perceive in their mind that someone doesn’t like something that they did. Instead of saying you’re sorry, how about opening up the dialogue and asking, “How did this make you feel?” or “Did you like it when I did this?”
I’d love to know how this experiment goes for you! After the three days, email me at carmen@carmenohling.com and let me know how often you apologized and what circumstances you found yourself doing that in. As always, if you need any help incorporating these new phrases into your life, just reach out and I’ll be here to help.
Wishing you a ton of light and love,
Carmen
by Carmen Ohling | Jan 2, 2020 | Live.
Things don’t always go as planned.⠀⠀
There’s always a shit ton more red tape then there needs to be.⠀⠀
Challenges always arise just when we’re sure we can’t take anything more.⠀⠀⠀
As you think about these three statements, I want you to think back to the last time something went differently than expected, when shit got hard, when you were presented with a challenge….⠀⠀
Do you have that thought in your mind? ⠀
Here are some of my own reflection on things in 2019 that didn’t go as planned….⠀
1️⃣ I received rejections (aka NOs) to my ideas and pitches to speak at multiple events and conferences. ⠀
2️⃣ I spent a shit ton of time, energy and money developing a new holistic health program for women (that I thought was SO freaking awesome) but it was a flop. ⠀
3️⃣ I trained and prepped for a bodybuilding show to WIN and I placed 10th. ⠀
4️⃣ I met only 3 of my 5 personal and business goals for 2019.⠀
For me, the true gift of all of these so called “failures” is the growth and confidence I have built within myself. Each of these challenges presented a hardship that I was able to overcome, learn from and keep taking action….⠀
Now, I want you to answer these questions based on your thought;⠀
- What did I learn?⠀⠀
- How did I grow?⠀⠀
- How can I help someone else?⠀⠀⠀
You see my point here is that while it may not seem like it at the time, life is all about experiences. Sometimes they are good in the moment and sometimes they are bad. But they are all experiences that shape us into the amazing, authentic humans that we are today.⠀⠀
When we choose to view our experiences through a lens of love, instead of fear, everything changes. We find more joy in everyday life, are able to give ourselves more grace and able to see others for who they truly are without judgement.⠀⠀⠀
I encourage you this week to visit a few of those past “bad” experiences and ask yourself the questions above. I promise, you’ll uncover something new and special.
I’d love to know what you learned and grew from in 2019! Email me at carmen@carmenohling.com to share and discover how you can use these lessons to make 2020 your best year yet.
Wishing you a ton of light and love,
Carmen
by Carmen Ohling | Dec 18, 2019 | Live.
Feelings…⠀
Thoughts….⠀
Actions… ⠀
Guidance… ⠀
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I’ve been having all the feels over the last couple of weeks. You know those times when you’ve got so much going on, but on the other hand, so many amazing this are happening you just can’t believe it?!?
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It’s funny because I used to over plan, control every detail, and was always full of expectations. Expectations that were never met, leaving me empty and longing for more. Now I ask for a sign, for a mini miracle and wait… I think waiting is the hardest part. ⠀
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I’m waiting for the Universe to continue to show me a sign (🖤) that I am on the right path. I feel blessed that in the meantime I am patient. I feel grateful that I am able to still take deliberate action daily in the direction of my dreams. I am ready and willing to receive my next opportunity and assignment for spiritual growth and healing. I am ready to show up and show up and continue to show up for myself and others.⠀
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For the first time in my life I feel complete. There is no rush to be “busy” or fill my schedule. I continue to make new connections, find opportunities and explore my curiosities- just on my own pace. It feels…. like freedom. ⠀
How do you feel today?
How do you want to feel today?
Take a few minutes to jot that down.
As we approach the last few weeks of the year, everyone is reflecting on 2019. We think about how far we’ve come, things we wish we did but didn’t, how good it was or how tough it was. So I ask you, what do you want and who do you want to be?
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This next year, do you want to embrace uncertainty?
Maybe even live life based on what’s important to you?
Let go of dumb, unrealistic expectations and just fall in love with life?
I’d love to guide you! Email me at carmen@carmenohling.com so we can chat about how to make this 2020 the year that you became obsessed with your life.
Wishing you a ton of light and love,
Carmen
by Carmen Ohling | Dec 12, 2019 | Live.
When I was 23, it felt like my life had changed. After waking up with an excruciating migraine one day that ended up turning into numbing of my face and head, I knew that something was wrong.
I went to the hospital and they performed a CT scan, prescribed some medicine, and called it a day.
When the numbing progressed, I made an appointment with my doctor who listened to my concerns, jotted down notes on a sheet of paper the way doctors do, and said, “I’m going to refer you to a neurologist.”
“Why can’t we take care of it here?” I asked.
I vividly remember my doctor looking at me and saying, “Carmen, I think you might have MS.”
My heart stopped.
At the time, I worked at JP Morgan Chase and I always had a team volunteering for the MS Walk but I couldn’t even say multiple sclerosis without getting tongue-tied.
After an appointment with a neurologist and going through a series of tests, we found out that I did in fact have MS.
After my diagnosis, I went through long periods of depression but I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or be looked down upon at work. So instead of sharing what I was going through and allowing other people to support me, I ended up hiding it and trying to do as much as I could. Speaking truthfully, this was a big factor in me sourcing my self worth from achievement, success and doing what I could for other people. This added fuel to the fire when it came to me trying to do all the things – climbing the corporate ladder, volunteering for the community, volunteering for my kids.
To this day, doctors still don’t know what causes MS or how to treat it. So after a year of medication, I ended up creating my system of treatment that is the backbone of my four pillars health that I share with you all the time –
- Protecting your energy
- Nourishing your body
- Practicing daily movement
- Slowing down
I wanted to share my story with you right in the middle of this holiday season, because whether it’s the woman behind you at the coffee shop or the one in the car next to you at the red light, every single person around you is dealing with life. The beautiful thing about that though, is that you have an opportunity to shine a light in their life!
Over these past few days, I’ve created my own 10 Days of Giving Challenge to add a little love to those around me. If you’re feeling inspired to do some good as we close out this year, here are 10 ways to give that don’t break the bank but fill lives with a ton of joy!
- Give out Lara bars
- Donate your coffee money to the United Way
- Keep a few $1 bills in your wallet to give
- Buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you
- Get out one can of beans, tuna and veggies to donate to your local food bank
- Write a letter of gratitude to another human
- Sign up or donate to your local MS Walk for 2020
- Call your grandparents and listen to them
- Give compliments that don’t have anything to do with appearance
- Take time to talk to a stranger
I know that the amazing and ambitious women we have in this community are capable of lighting up this holiday season for so many people!
Email me at carmen@carmenohling.com and tell me how you are going to make a difference!
Wishing you a ton of light and love,
Carmen
by Carmen Ohling | Dec 5, 2019 | Live.
Do you have goals?
I KNOW you do.
Ever need help taking serious action to make progress on your goal and actually see it through?
A LOT of people do.
As we wrap up this year and start planning all we want for 2020, I wanted to share the things in my life that have allowed me to be my highest self, build intentional relationships and grow my business!
Here are my five tips on how to actually make a change in your life and do the thing you are meant to do.
#1. You have to really know that you want to desire something different
Can you we flip the script on goals for just a second? I don’t know about you but I’m all about being a dreamer and have huge goals that I display on my vision boards and if you are like that too, that’s awesome! I think that really helps guide me.
But another thing that helps guide me is flipping that around and using my discomfort and pain as motivation. A few years ago, knowing that it would suck so much to stay where I was at and that unless I took action, the world would miss out on the powerful message that I bring to women… now that brought motivation.
The critical thing behind this thought though is the idea that you know your purpose which brings me to my next point.
#2. Lean Into Your Curiosities
“Well Carmen, that’s the thing, I don’t really know what my purpose is!” Hey, I hear you, but that’s something that you can get past and this is something that you can discover. The way to do this is by leaning into all the things that make you curious and perhaps even the things that you think you don’t have the time for.
Are you pushing down those little nudges from the universe that you should try something new or go in a different direction?
It’s so easy to because of how busy we all are! Hardly anyone has time to explore things “just for fun” anymore. But that is where the magic happens.
So know that you want more and the next time that little glimmer of curiosity hits you, consider making the time to explore what that might be.
#3. Be Ready and Willing to Take Intentional Action
Oh I can’t do that because of my family…
I can’t take that job because I need to make this amount of money…
I can’t go there because my kids need me here instead…
I can’t make time for that because I’m expected to do this…
How familiar does that sound?
Here’s the thing, you don’t need to make a gigantic jump from Point A to Point B, but you do need to always be taking intentional action in the right direction.
Sometimes this is challenging for people, especially my perfectionists out there who have an “all or nothing” mentality. Just keep in mind that It’s not the gigantic action that you take twice a year that makes your dreams come true, it’s the small deliberate action that you take each and every day.
Trust me, there is never going to be a perfect time! But consider that you only want it to be the perfect time because you’re aren’t entirely confident that you can pull off your goal otherwise. However, action builds momentum and momentum builds confidence. So start taking action today.
#4. Be Around The Right People
You’ve probably already heard that you are the product of the five people you spend most of your time around. Well, this is true!
For a long time, I started off on my own. I read books, started going after my nutrition business, left my corporate career and it was good but it wasn’t great. It really only started to become great when I started forcing myself to be in places where people were doing things that I wanted to be doing. For me, that looked like going to events, business conferences, nutrition conferences, personal growth empowerments, signing up for masterminds, etc. The energy and challenge from the other successful, amazing humans around me is what took me to the next level. It was being around other ambitious women who were able to call me out when I started dipping back into my own limiting beliefs.
#5. Be Ready and Willing to Know It’s Not Going to Be Perfect
Growth means having some challenging times. If you’re coasting through everything without any real roadblocks, you’re never giving yourself the opportunity to rise to the occasion! Lean into having times where you are pushing through uncertainty while feeling that fire in you that lets you know you have a calling to make a change and be brave. It may sound scary, but I promise it feels so good to do that!
Email me at carmen@carmenohling.com and let me know which of these tips you are going to try on in the month of December! Remember, if you need any help at all, I am here for you.
Wishing you a ton of light and love,
Carmen
