From Control to Connection: Two Leadership Shifts That Changed Everything

From Control to Connection: Two Leadership Shifts That Changed Everything

In the middle of my corporate leadership career, I got hit with some honest feedback that changed the way I lead.
 
A trusted team member pulled me aside and said, “Carmen, people call you Cruella DeVille at the other branch.”
 
She meant it kindly—but the words stung. And what she said next stung even more:
 
“You have high standards, and you care deeply—but not everyone sees that.”
 
At the time, I thought I was being a great leader: setting clear goals, holding people accountable, showing up every day with energy and structure. But what I wasn’t doing—was listening.
 
After getting over my own ego and defensiveness and doing some real self inquiry – I made two core changes that transformed not just my leadership, but our team:
 
1. I Led with Listening
I started asking more than telling.
“What do you see?”
“Where are we stuck?”
“What could we do differently?”

This opened the door to collaboration and trust.

 
2. I Created Feedback Loops
I invited my team to help me grow through “mini 360’s” (often) —with questions like:
“What’s one thing I missed?”
“Where did I get in the way?”
Over time, this shifted the culture. My team felt heard. Ideas flowed. Ownership grew.
 
I also stopped trying to do it all. I let go of control, embraced curiosity, and—yes—even took lunch breaks. We laughed more. Innovated more. And built something better—together.
 
This shift from control to connection is now core to how we coach leaders at The Amplified Life Company. One of our core beliefs is that as leader your next level often takes turning the mirror back on yourself because, personal development is the foundation of dynamic leadership, meaningful relationships, optimal health, and extraordinary business outcomes.
 
If you’re ready to listen deeper, reflect often, and lead with connection—start today.
 
Let’s connect! 
 
Carmen Ohling
CEO & Founder The Amplified Life Company
6 CEO Habits That Stall Growth—And How to Shift Them

6 CEO Habits That Stall Growth—And How to Shift Them

Let’s get honest. Most leadership problems aren’t mysterious. They’re patterns—things we keep doing (or not doing) that quietly slow us down.
 
After coaching hundreds of founders and CEOs, we’ve seen the same six issues come up again and again. These aren’t high-level theories. They’re the real, everyday habits that stall growth.
 
The good news? Every one of them is fixable.
 

Here’s what might be happening in your leadership—and how to shift above the line, starting today.

 
1. You’re too busy to think.
You’re in back-to-back meetings all day. When do you actually think?
 
If you don’t carve out time for strategy, you end up stuck in reaction mode. You’re managing the day, not leading the business.
 

Shift: Block 90 minutes a week for deep, uninterrupted thinking. No calls. No Slack. Just white space. This is non-negotiable CEO time.

 
2. You’re running on fumes.
You say self-care matters… but your calendar says otherwise. You’re exhausted, snacking at your desk, and telling yourself you’ll rest “after the next big push.”
 
Here’s the truth: your team takes cues from your energy. If you’re burnt out, they’re just surviving too.
 

Shift: Build in rejuvenation. Walks. Prayer. Food. Sleep. Sweat. Fun. Think of your well-being as part of the business plan—not a side project.

 
3. Your meetings are just status updates.
You send your meeting packet the morning of (or not at all). Then you spend the whole meeting explaining what’s in it.
 
Meanwhile, big strategic questions go untouched.
 

Shift: Send updates 48 hours ahead. Label them “required pre-reading.” Use meeting time to solve 1–2 meaningful problems—together.

 
4. You’re hiring for the wrong stage —out of reactivity.
You hire someone super senior… but they won’t get their hands dirty. Or you hire someone scrappy… but they can’t grow with you.
 
Now you’re micromanaging or stuck with someone who’s in over their head.
 

Shift: Get brutally honest about what the role needs today—and what it will need in 12 months. Hire for both now and next.  Prioritize capability AND character.  

 
5. You’re avoiding the conversation.
There’s someone on the team you’re frustrated with. Or a cultural issue no one’s naming. You’ve been meaning to say something… for weeks.
 
The longer you wait, the harder it gets—and everyone feels the tension.
 

Shift: Have the conversation. Use a framework. Be direct and kind. Don’t let discomfort become dysfunction.

 
6. No one knows the real plan.
 
If you asked your team to explain the vision, would they say the same thing you would?
If not, you’re leading through fog. And in fog, people hesitate.
 

Shift: Write your vision and tell it in a compelling story. Clear. Memorable. Share it until everyone knows it by heart and understands how they contribute to the bigger vision.

 
Final Thought
You don’t need to fix all six of these right now. But you do need to pick one and start.
 
The most powerful CEOs I coach don’t have fewer challenges—they just face them head-on. That’s what it means to lead above the line.
 
Which one are you working on this week? Drop a comment or reach out anytime at hello@carmenohling.com—let’s talk it through.
Why “Good Enough” Wasn’t Enough

Why “Good Enough” Wasn’t Enough

 
We were hitting the numbers.
Customers weren’t complaining.
Team dynamics were solid.
From the outside, my JPMorgan Chase branch looked like it was thriving.
But I could feel it—we were stuck.
No energy. No breakthrough. Just… business as usual.
And then it hit me:
We had goals.
We had corporate messaging.
But we didn’t have a vision of our own.
There was no local identity. No ownership. No spark.
 
So we created one.
Not another target.
Not a motivational poster.
A shared, living, breathing vision.
“Be the branch that delivers the best customer experience—not just in banking, but in all of retail.”
It changed everything.
 
We stopped asking everyone to do everything.
Instead, we:
  • Called out and used individual strengths
  • Asked for help when it wasn’t our zone of genius
  • Became a community resource instead of saying “no”
  • Celebrated each other—often and out loud
  • Used customer names more than seemed normal and smiled like we meant it
 
The energy shifted.
Culture lifted.
And the team owned their work in a whole new way.
 
Leadership Lesson:
Vision isn’t something you write once.
It’s something you live, localize, and reinforce.
Most leaders try to jump from awareness → behavior.
But behavior change doesn’t stick without belief.
And belief is built through vision—clear, compelling, and consistent.
 
If your team is doing well but not thriving
If your culture is productive but flat…
It might not be a systems problem.
It might be a vision gap.
 
Curious—have you created a shared, team-owned vision where you lead? What happened when you did?
 
Let’s talk about building culture on purpose.
 
Share this post to invite your network into the conversation—because culture shifts when leaders do.
 
From the Stage to the C-Suite: What Bodybuilding Taught Me About Bold Leadership

From the Stage to the C-Suite: What Bodybuilding Taught Me About Bold Leadership

Lately, I’ve been flirting with the idea of stepping back into the world of bodybuilding competition—not just to win or for a trophy, but as a personal science experiment in physical precision and mental mastery. Most people see bodybuilding as pure aesthetics. I see it differently. I see it as a laboratory of human discipline, a reflection of what happens when systems, consistency, and self-responsibility collide.
 
At The Amplified Life Company, we believe in this deeply: discipline and systems are the unlock to the freedom you’re craving. That’s not just branding—that’s biology, psychology, and soul truth.
 
I remember my first bodybuilding show day so clearly. I was standing backstage at Chinook Winds Casino, bronzed from head to toe, wearing the tiniest rhinestone bikini you’ve ever seen. The spotlight was just minutes away. I had trained for this moment—not just in the gym, but in my mind. This wasn’t just a competition. It was a reclamation. A declaration. A moment of, “I did this.”
 
What most people saw was the glam: stage lights, glutes, and glossy hair. What they didn’t see was the decade of hesitation before that moment—the voice inside that said, “You’re not ready. Your body doesn’t look like that. What if you fail?”
 
And here’s the truth: I never said those exact words to myself. It was more subtle. “You need more time.” “It’s not the right season….”
 
I started lifting weights in high school—5 AM sessions before class, long before “wellness” was trending. In my late twenties, I shifted from “working out” to training. There’s a difference, and if you’re a leader, you should care about this, here’s why:
 
Working out is physical activity without precision. It’s checking a box.
 
Training is intentional. It’s built on vision, metrics, and pushing your edges.
 
It’s designed to break you down in order to rebuild you stronger.
 
Sound familiar? It should. It’s exactly what effective leadership looks like.
 
At age 33, after a decade of imposter syndrome, hesitation, and “not yet” excuses, I competed in my first bodybuilding competition—and I won my division.
 
Bodybuilding will reveal every crack in your mindset. It demands radical ownership over sleep, food, training, thoughts, emotions. There’s nowhere to hide. You either followed the plan, or you didn’t. You’re either playing full out, or playing pretend.
 
It’s the same in leadership. And here’s the truth most aren’t willing to say out loud:
 
Most leaders are not actually leading—they’re managing safety, optics, and perception.
 
They’re working out, not training.
 
They’re chasing comfort instead of capacity.
 
The most transformative part of my fitness journey wasn’t the physical shifts. It was the identity shift. I went from “maybe someday” to “I fully commit.”
 
I had to stop being addicted to readiness and start being obsessed with growth. I had to fail—on purpose, over and over again—inside the gym so I could win on stage. That exact same principle applies in your leadership:
  • You have to be willing to fail fast and recover faster.
  • You have to build resilience, I mean anti-fragility, like a muscle.
  • You have to train for discomfort, not avoid it.
If you’re not regularly reaching failure—mentally, emotionally, spiritually—you’re not leading at your edge. You’re maintaining, and sooner or later you’ll fall behind.
 
It took me ten years to build up the courage to get on that stage. Ten years of thinking, doubting, waiting. But one moment changed everything: I joined a CrossFit gym. That community lifted me out of my own head and challenged me to play bigger. I saw what was possible. I made a promise:
 
“If I win this transformation challenge at the CrossFit gym, I’ll finally compete.”
 
And guess what? I won. Then I kept my word. That’s commitment.
 
Let’s talk straight. If you’re reading this and feeling a twinge of discomfort—good. That’s your edge. That’s where your growth is hiding.
 
Are you playing it safe? Coasting on credentials? Avoiding the failure that will build your next evolution?
 
Here’s your new plan:
  1. Be the beginner again.
  2. Surround yourself with those further ahead.
  3. Fail fast. Learn. Return. Repeat.
Leadership isn’t about control. It’s about conscious responsibility. It’s about showing your team what’s possible by first pushing your own limits. That’s what creates trust. That’s what creates culture. That’s what creates results.
 
Your team doesn’t need another motivational poster. They need a leader who’s actively choosing to live and lead above the line. They need a leader willing to walk on stage—metaphorically or literally—and say: “I built this, let’s build the next level together. Come with me.”
 
And if you’re still afraid to fail? Then you haven’t trained hard enough yet.
 
But what about your team?
 
Last month, I posted a simple infographic that still makes me laugh—because it’s painfully true. It asked: “What does your team actually think about your training programs?”
 
And it hit a nerve. Because one of our corporate clients had just received less-than-stellar results on their latest employee engagement survey.
 
The feedback?
 
“Leadership training feels like a checkbox.” “We’re being promoted but not prepared.”
 
This company has been named a Forbes Top Workplace three years running. And yet—their people were calling for something deeper.
 
Why? Because training once is not enough.
 
Promoting strong individual contributors into leadership roles without any real leadership development? That’s not a success strategy—that’s a setup for turnover.
 
Operating from a “business as usual” mindset in a world that’s constantly evolving is a recipe for stagnation. You cannot innovate externally if you’re not transforming internally.
 
And here’s the kicker: fear of failure in leadership isn’t a red flag about your abilities. It’s a red flag about your willingness to grow.
 
If you’re afraid to fail in your leadership, you’re not willing to train. You’re not willing to stretch. And over time, you’ll begin to feel the cost:
  • You’ll look successful, but feel empty.
  • You’ll be surrounded by people, but still feel alone.
  • You’ll check all the boxes—and still wonder, “Why does this feel off?”
Sustainable success is built on intentional failure. On reps. On breakdowns that create breakthroughs.
 
Whether it’s stepping onto a literal stage or owning your leadership stage, here’s the truth:
 
You have to be willing to train harder, fall harder, and rise with more clarity than ever before.
 
You have to build the kind of internal strength that lets you say:
 
“This is just the beginning. Let’s rise together, fail together, learn together—and build what’s next with discipline, commitment, and purpose. I’m not calling you out, I’m calling you up. Join me.”
 
 
Ready to lead like you train?
 
If this resonated, here’s your next rep:
Join a growing community of leaders who are choosing clarity over comfort, discipline over default, and bold leadership over burnout.
 
Visit The Amplified Life Company to explore leadership intensives, coaching, and team development that doesn’t just inspire — but transforms.
 
You’ve built this far. Let’s train for what’s next — together.
Full Circle Leadership: How a Childhood Dream at the 2025 Softball College World Series Became a Powerful Reminder for High-Performing Leaders

Full Circle Leadership: How a Childhood Dream at the 2025 Softball College World Series Became a Powerful Reminder for High-Performing Leaders

I started playing little league fast-pitch softball in third grade. It was more than a game to me—it was movement, momentum, and magic. That love stayed with me, even after my competitive days ended.
 
Each year, I find myself captivated by the Women’s College World Series (WCWS). The energy. The precision. The stories behind the stats. This year, it was the Texas vs. Texas Tech final that pulled me in—but not for the reasons I expected.
 
During Game Two, Tech’s Alana Johnson stepped up to the plate. The camera flashed to a photo of her 11-year-old self at the very same WCWS, holding a handmade sign that read:
 
“Hey Mom and Dad, you will be watching me play here in a few years.”
 
She wrote it. She believed it. Her mother saved that sign. And now, she was in the stands watching her daughter’s dream come to life. In real time. On a national stage.
 
I felt it in my body. That was a full circle moment.
 
What Is a Full Circle Moment—and Why It Matters in Leadership
A full circle moment is when life loops you back to something once dreamed, declared, or desired—but this time, you arrive with more capacity, clarity, or courage. It’s not just a “comeback.” It’s a reckoning. A revelation.
 
And yet, most leaders miss these moments entirely.
 
Why?
 
Because we’re conditioned to chase the next big thing. Not to feel the thing that’s already here.
 
The Leadership Mistakes That Block Full Circle Moments
  • Always accelerating. We move too fast to pause.
  • No time to reflect. We skip the debrief, the integration, the soul part.
  • Celebration resistance. We downplay our wins before they even land.
  • Nervous system overload. When we’re dysregulated, we can’t receive resonance—even when it’s standing right in front of us.
But moments like Alana’s remind us: leadership is just as much about returning as it is about arriving.
 
Leadership Prompt:
Think of a time you found yourself exactly where you once dreamed of being.
 
What did you feel?
 
Did you let it in—or did you rush past it?
If this story spoke to you, leave a comment, or share it with a leader who needs to remember how far they’ve come. Full circle moments are rarely loud—but they’re always worth noticing.
The Leadership Trap No One Talks About (And How to Escape It)

The Leadership Trap No One Talks About (And How to Escape It)

Most leaders don’t talk about this.
 
Not in the boardroom. Not in team meetings. And certainly not in performance reviews.
 
But it’s there—under the surface of high performers, executive teams, and startup founders alike:
 
The silent fear that if you don’t know all the answers, you’ll lose credibility. Or worse—respect.
 
It’s a belief so deeply embedded in leadership culture that most people don’t even know it’s there.
 
I’ve seen it in Fortune 500 boardrooms. I’ve seen it in healthcare clinics. I have seen it in government offices. I’ve lived it myself.
 
The Coffee Story (That Wasn’t About Coffee)
Last week, I was on a road trip to the Eugene airport. Halfway there, I stopped to refuel and reheat my lukewarm Starbucks blonde roast. Inside the gas station, I greeted the woman behind the counter, Angela, as I popped my coffee into the microwave.
 
She seemed kind but distracted. When I asked how her morning was going, she sighed and said,
“I’m still kicking myself. I should have caught something I missed—especially in front of one of my employees.”
 
I replied gently, “Isn’t it a superpower to know what you do know, own that, and surround yourself with people who can fill in the rest?”
 
She paused. I watched something shift.
That pause? That’s the space where perception changes.
That’s leadership.
 
I Know That Feeling Because I Was That Leader
For years, I believed being a strong leader meant knowing it all—or at least pretending to.
 
I’d walk into rooms braced for performance: over-prepared, overly polished, overly protective of my image.
 
God forbid I didn’t have the answer.
 
I thought being vulnerable would cost me respect.
 
I now know it’s the opposite.
 
Today, I work with visionary leaders, executives and entrepreneurs. And I see it playing out over and over again:
  • A room full of brilliant minds staying quiet because they fear saying the wrong thing.
  • Executives afraid to ask clarifying questions in front of peers.
  • Managers avoiding feedback loops because they think “not knowing” is a weakness.
Let me say this clearly:
You can’t lead from fear of being exposed. You lead from clarity, curiosity, and connection.
 
The Truth About Real Leadership
Here’s what I’ve learned after more than a decade of coaching conscious leaders:
  • The most effective, magnetic, and impactful leaders don’t pretend to know everything.
  • They’re confident in what they do know—and boldly open about what they don’t.
  • They build teams that are diverse in thinking, skill, and style.
  • They stay curious.
  • They speak up and say, “I’m not sure—what do you think?”
At The Amplified Life Company, we say it this way:
Where your skillset ends, your network begins. And that’s where your next level lives.
 
Your leadership is only as powerful as the people you allow in—mentors, peers, team members who bring different gifts, insights, and expertise.
 
If you’re trying to “know it all,” you’re not leading—you’re posturing.
 
And it’s costing you innovation, trust, and long-term growth.
 
5 Ways to Lead From Presence, Not Performance
If you’re ready to step into authentic, confident leadership, try these:
  1. Share your real expertise. Your lived experience has more weight than a resume. Speak from it.
  2. Ask for support. Mentorship, collaboration, and feedback are multipliers—not signs of weakness.
  3. Model curiosity. “Tell me more,” “Teach me,” or “Let’s explore that together” are power moves.
  4. Build teams with different strengths than yours. Stop hiring mirrors—build a mosaic.
  5. Teach what you learn. First by modeling, then by mentoring.
 
The New Leadership Paradigm
You’re not here to perform.
You’re here to lead. To evolve. To expand your capacity.
And that only happens when you trade in the outdated model of “knowing it all” for the very human art of showing up real.
 
That’s what creates psychological safety.
That’s what builds trust.
That’s what turns a team into a movement.
 
So here’s your invitation:
Next time you feel the pressure to have the answer—pause.
Say, “I don’t know yet, but I’m open.”
 
Then watch what shifts—inside you and around you.
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