1. The support and encouragement of the right coach and community around them.
2. The intrinsic drive they both embody is shown through the seemingly small acts repeated daily, which, over time, led to big results.
3. Being willing to do things differently, to get uncomfortable, to fail and go back to the drawing board and go all in again.

1. Failure is part of the process.
2. You cannot become an Olympian on your own.
3. Intrinsic motivation is required to do the mundane, small steps required daily to achieve greatness.

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ALWAYS TAKE THE STAIRS….

It first started at the airport as a personal, fun challenge to myself….

Long travel days, especially those from Miami to the West Coast, mean a ton of sitting.  So, I started by walking more at each airport, taking two “laps” around the airport near my gate before sitting down.  Then, I added the stairs.  Anytime there was an option for stairs, no matter how tired or heavy my backpack felt, I would take the stairs. At times, only an escalator was available, so I’d turn them into stairs versus simply riding my way up.

I found this new challenge to be fun and very interesting.  I was almost always the only one taking the stairs.  The challenge then turned into an experiment in life where my default choice was to always take the stairs. This choice is not easy, comfortable, or even the desired choice, and sometimes my legs start to burn, and I lose my breath a bit, but it’s always worth it in the end.  When I’m finished, I tell myself, “I am a person who always takes the stairs!” 

This one seemingly small act of taking the stairs is just another discipline I follow in my life.  You see, success almost always comes from small, seemingly insignificant, tiny choices that we make daily.  These choices compound over time and ultimately yield an outcome of fulfillment, success, freedom, and inner peace.

Society likes to give a negative connotation to the idea of discipline.  The perception is that discipline is the enemy of our happiness.  Humans, by nature, are built to seek the path of least resistance.  It’s how our brains are automatically wired to seek safety and comfort. So, if you find yourself gravitating towards the path of least resistance, know that you are not alone.  Remember, I said that in my stair experiment, I am often the only one on the stairs?

Here’s what I know to be true in my life and in the lives of thousands of leaders we’ve coached over the years – what seems easy in life makes your life more difficult in the future. 

This concept of discipline and choice-making has been coined as The Pain Paradox.  This paradox states that easy short-term choices lead to difficult long-term consequences, and difficult short-term choices lead to great long-term consequences.

– Skipping your workouts and settling for fast food in the short term leads to being unhealthful and overweight in the long term.

– Not having those difficult conversations in the short term leads to unfulfilling relationships in the long term.

– Not keeping your small daily commitments to yourself in the short term leads to a lack of self-trust and low self-confidence in the long term.

I could go on and on here, but I think you get the idea.

My invitation to you today is to start with the stairs. If you have a choice, always choose the stairs, and be sure to tell yourself once you finish the climb, “I am a person who always takes the stairs!”

I promise that this one discipline in the short term will lead to long-term rewards.  Oh, I forgot to mention that being the one to set the example proves to create a ripple effect, too – my husband, Joal, always takes the stairs now, too!

Sending you lot of love and light,

Carmen

Join US in-person in September at The Amplify Your Life World Conference 

is Question: How many times this week have you told yourself, “I don’t have time.”

Really think about it. The reality is that we all have the same 24 hours in a day. Just like I do, just like you do. Nothing more, nothing less.

I began thinking deeply about this on Sunday when I found myself making the decision not to go to the beach, although I had indicated that I was so excited to go to the beach the day before. So, what changed?

Not much, other than I began to put internal pressure on myself for the handful of things I wanted to accomplish on Sunday, which left my subconscious to push me into the idea that I didn’t have time. I’d probably get all wet and sandy and have to shower again in the middle of the day and…..

…. I didn’t have time for that.

But in all honesty, I did. I had plenty of time for that, and so we went. And, I enjoyed every single minute of it!

This experience made me realize that the false sense of urgency society builds into us, combined with the pressure we internally put on ourselves make the response of, “I don’t have time,” is almost involuntary.

I invite you to join me this week and have some hard conversations with yourself. Accept that we all have the exact same amount of time and we can choose how we spend it. We can choose what we make a priority. Consider that maybe your stress and overwhelm are not because you have too much to do, maybe it’s just that you’re not clear on what you want and where you are going so you say yes to everything and everyone….

…and that my friends is completely exhausting, and only fuels that false belief that there’s not time.

Try this for a week:

1. Be aware of when you tell yourself, “I don’t have time for that.”
2. Check in. Are you focused on what truly matters in this season of your life?
3. Adjust, choose again, delegate, ask for help, let go… or a combination of those.
4. Use this mantra often: “There is plenty of time and money for everything!”

One last note….

…The things we usually say we don’t have time for are normally the rejuvenating, fun, and meaningful connections that we actually need more than anything!

Here’s to making time this week,

Carmen

Joal and I recently hosted a dinner party in our home in Miami Beach. 

We invited three of our friends with whom we’ve built meaningful relationships since moving here to Miami Beach.  It was an early Friday evening, 6:00 pm, and a beautiful, warm summer Miami Beach night.  We ate a traditional lasagna, cucumber salad, and freshly baked bread with homemade garlic butter.  For dessert, we had delicious lemon bars- you know, the ones with the sweetest lemony custard and brilliantly baked shortbread crust.  We spent about 3 hours together, sharing a meal and sharing stories we’d never shared previously, and it was so much fun.  The genuine curiosity and listening of each of our group was so refreshing.

As our friends were leaving, my heart was full, and in that moment, I was the embodiment of appreciation and gratitude. Smiling to myself, I reflected on how diverse we were as a group of 6 amazing humans, which would have never been possible if we were not committed to building meaningful relationships.  Joal thanked me for taking the time to put the evening together and for having the idea of hosting our friends, who we had not seen for a while because of traveling for our work on the West Coast. 

As successful, ambitious humans, it’s easy to focus only on the details of our own lives, to stay stuck in our daily routines, not to reach out, and to tell ourselves, “Why do I always have to be the one to reach out?” 

Can you relate to that last part? 

Truth time today, friends!  Both Joal and I have been guilty of this in the past.  Over time, I’ve come to realize that if we continued to wait, we’d most likely be waiting forever.  Not because people don’t want to spend time with us, or don’t love us but because it’s easier to wait for someone else to reach out, someone else to plan, someone else to extend an invitation.  The other side of this is that simply because we choose to show up a particular way, we don’t expect others to do the same.  However, if there is something that we need or want, we ask and communicate its importance to others.  A surefire path to feeling let down, discouraged, and resentful is when you hold expectations for others, based on your personal (often uncommunicated) standards.

Maybe that was an ah-ha moment right there for you, or maybe it was a gentle reminder, but either way, I hope that you continue to answer the call to BE THE ONE in your life who reaches out, who extends the invitation, who checks in, who does small acts of unexpected kindness because it all adds up and it all matters.  The best part, your heart will be full, and you’ll be the embodiment of appreciation and gratitude, just like I was earlier this month.  

A few quick tips that I love sharing to not only build but maintain (we often forget that part, meaningful relationships take ongoing work) are these:

FRIENDSHIPS:

Surprise and delight them with kind, unexpected gestures, show up for them even when they do not ask, send them a handwritten letter, mark your calendar to celebrate milestones, and be generous.  

WORK RELATIONSHIPS:

Celebrate their successes publicly (even the small ones or “inner” successes), handwritten notes always go a long way, be their cheerleader and challenger to help them grow, and plan team-building activities or bring small gifts or treats to work.  

SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Surprise them with a date night at their favorite spot or with their favorite things. Leave little notes around the house unexpectedly. If you are away, try sending them a special delivery while you are gone or write them a handwritten card and mail it to arrive during your absence.

FAMILY:

Plan a family outing that connects and is memorable, put together a family picture album of key memories for each family member (what else will we do with those 1000+ pictures on our iPhones anyway!), and set an intention to learn something new about a family member by being curious and asking questions.  

The key is to go above and beyond because, with a little extra effort, the ordinary can be transformed into extraordinary.  

For more tips and resources on BEING THE ONE, follow us, The Amplified Life Company @carmenohling

The vision and purpose at The Amplified Life Company:

“Be the one to show the world how truly great life can be!”

The mission at The Amplified Life Company:

To significantly improve the lives of over 1 million leaders by amplifying their gifts, voices, lives, and businesses through high-level collaboration, personal growth, and learning.

Email us at hello@carmenohling.com if you’d like to learn more about Being the One and bringing this work to your team!