Joal and I recently hosted a dinner party in our home in Miami Beach.
We invited three of our friends with whom we’ve built meaningful relationships since moving here to Miami Beach. It was an early Friday evening, 6:00 pm, and a beautiful, warm summer Miami Beach night. We ate a traditional lasagna, cucumber salad, and freshly baked bread with homemade garlic butter. For dessert, we had delicious lemon bars- you know, the ones with the sweetest lemony custard and brilliantly baked shortbread crust. We spent about 3 hours together, sharing a meal and sharing stories we’d never shared previously, and it was so much fun. The genuine curiosity and listening of each of our group was so refreshing.
As our friends were leaving, my heart was full, and in that moment, I was the embodiment of appreciation and gratitude. Smiling to myself, I reflected on how diverse we were as a group of 6 amazing humans, which would have never been possible if we were not committed to building meaningful relationships. Joal thanked me for taking the time to put the evening together and for having the idea of hosting our friends, who we had not seen for a while because of traveling for our work on the West Coast.
As successful, ambitious humans, it’s easy to focus only on the details of our own lives, to stay stuck in our daily routines, not to reach out, and to tell ourselves, “Why do I always have to be the one to reach out?”
Can you relate to that last part?
Truth time today, friends! Both Joal and I have been guilty of this in the past. Over time, I’ve come to realize that if we continued to wait, we’d most likely be waiting forever. Not because people don’t want to spend time with us, or don’t love us but because it’s easier to wait for someone else to reach out, someone else to plan, someone else to extend an invitation. The other side of this is that simply because we choose to show up a particular way, we don’t expect others to do the same. However, if there is something that we need or want, we ask and communicate its importance to others. A surefire path to feeling let down, discouraged, and resentful is when you hold expectations for others, based on your personal (often uncommunicated) standards.
Maybe that was an ah-ha moment right there for you, or maybe it was a gentle reminder, but either way, I hope that you continue to answer the call to BE THE ONE in your life who reaches out, who extends the invitation, who checks in, who does small acts of unexpected kindness because it all adds up and it all matters. The best part, your heart will be full, and you’ll be the embodiment of appreciation and gratitude, just like I was earlier this month.
A few quick tips that I love sharing to not only build but maintain (we often forget that part, meaningful relationships take ongoing work) are these:
FRIENDSHIPS:
Surprise and delight them with kind, unexpected gestures, show up for them even when they do not ask, send them a handwritten letter, mark your calendar to celebrate milestones, and be generous.
WORK RELATIONSHIPS:
Celebrate their successes publicly (even the small ones or “inner” successes), handwritten notes always go a long way, be their cheerleader and challenger to help them grow, and plan team-building activities or bring small gifts or treats to work.
SIGNIFICANT OTHER:
Surprise them with a date night at their favorite spot or with their favorite things. Leave little notes around the house unexpectedly. If you are away, try sending them a special delivery while you are gone or write them a handwritten card and mail it to arrive during your absence.
FAMILY:
Plan a family outing that connects and is memorable, put together a family picture album of key memories for each family member (what else will we do with those 1000+ pictures on our iPhones anyway!), and set an intention to learn something new about a family member by being curious and asking questions.
The key is to go above and beyond because, with a little extra effort, the ordinary can be transformed into extraordinary.
For more tips and resources on BEING THE ONE, follow us, The Amplified Life Company @carmenohling
The vision and purpose at The Amplified Life Company:
“Be the one to show the world how truly great life can be!”
The mission at The Amplified Life Company:
To significantly improve the lives of over 1 million leaders by amplifying their gifts, voices, lives, and businesses through high-level collaboration, personal growth, and learning.
Email us at hello@carmenohling.com if you’d like to learn more about Being the One and bringing this work to your team!
