An October 2019 study about the Psychology of (Un) Certainty found this:
People strive for certainty due to an inherent desire for it. Uncertainty seems to be stressful in the same unconscious manner as anger and fear. We cannot really control this feeling, and we feel relaxed only when we feel certain about what we know or about what we should anticipate. However, our world is filled with uncertainty, and so are most aspects of our life. Therefore, instead of looking for certainty where it does not exist, we had better learn to appreciate uncertainty and learn to live and deal with it.
Although it is elusive, we still seek certainty and control in multiple aspects of our lives and businesses. We put off pursuing meaningful relationships, making bold career moves, or acting on the ideas that genuinely excite us. In our quest for control, we can end up sacrificing growth and fulfillment, putting our dreams on hold while we wait for clarity that might never come.
One thing is certain: Death.
If death is the only certainty in life, why are we choosing to live like we have all the time in the world?
Why are we not going after our dreams, having the conversation, making the difficult decisions, letting go, starting something new, having more fun, spending meaningful time with loved ones, or checking that next challenge off your bucket list?
Because we are doing this one thing: Waiting.
As busy, successful leaders, we often find ourselves waiting—waiting for the perfect time, the right conditions, or that signal telling us it’s finally safe to make a move. We wait for more data, for the market to settle, for just a few more resources, or for things to feel a little less chaotic or uncertain.
For many of us, waiting feels like the “responsible choice,” a way to manage risks and protect everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. But this waiting, rooted in our need for certainty, quietly holds us back.
What if, instead of waiting, we embraced the unpredictable and leaned into the unknown?
Let’s put this into facts and numbers.
The average life expectancy of a man in the U.S. is 74.8 years, while the life expectancy for a woman is 80.2 years.
Today I am 43 years old, which means if I lived to the average life expectancy of 80 years old, I only have 37 more years to go. How many years do you have left?
But, what if I also told you that 5% of men in the US die before the age of 45, and 3% of women die before the age of 45. Which is the death of approximately 17 million men and 10 million women…..
… and you could be one of them. I could be one of them. We could all be one of them…
and this is CERTAIN.
Like many, I spent much of my life and career driven by the need for certainty and control. Before attending an event, I’d want to know who would be there, how long it would last, and what we’d be doing.
At work, before taking on a new project, I’d look for detailed information in advance so I could either prepare or even avoid areas where I felt less confident.
This craving for certainty kept me constantly on edge—always planning and preparing for the future, which made it nearly impossible to relax and enjoy the present moment.
Why did I live this way for so long?
Today, the reasons are crystal clear, and they boil down to two key factors:
- I wanted to feel in control. Even if it was an illusion, this sense of control gave me a comforting level of predictability in both my personal and professional life.
- I was deeply concerned with how others perceived me. I wanted to be accepted, appreciated, and acknowledged—in short, I wanted to be liked by everyone.
This mix of seeking comfort and maintaining a certain appearance trapped me in a cycle of never feeling “good enough.” It led to constant stress, pressure, overwhelm, and a sense of scarcity. I found myself comparing, judging, and always striving to live up to an unattainable standard.
To break free from the need for control and certainty, here are four small, daily steps you can take to embrace uncertainty, step out of your comfort zone, and use your unique gifts to pursue a more fulfilling life:
1. Practice Letting Go
Identify one small area each day where you can relinquish control—whether it’s delegating a task, letting a meeting go slightly off-script, or accepting that you might not know every detail in advance. This builds resilience and comfort with unpredictability, allowing you to move away from perfectionism and into purpose. Then, “collect evidence” that letting go actually proves to be better than white-knuckling your life.
2. Reflect on the “Why” Behind Your Actions
Before making decisions, pause and ask yourself if you’re acting out of a desire for control, fear of judgment, or simply habit. This self-awareness can help you prioritize genuine growth and purpose over merely maintaining appearances or following societal expectations.
3. Set One Bold, Uncomfortable Goal
Each day, set a small goal that feels a bit out of your comfort zone. This could be starting a meaningful conversation, embracing a new opportunity, or working on a skill you’ve always wanted to master. Taking these steps can help you break free from self-imposed limitations and live in alignment with the gifts and passions placed inside you.
4. Appreciate the Present Moment
Regularly remind yourself that life is limited, and uncertainty is the norm. Embracing this reality allows you to focus on using your God-given talents and pursuing what truly matters. When we let go of control, we make space for inspiration and growth, honoring the unique gifts placed within us.
The greatest disservice you can do is to ignore these gifts, staying confined within a life of comfort, societal norms, pressure, and unfulfillment.
By choosing to fully embrace who you are and stepping into your potential, you honor both yourself and the purpose you were created for.
Remember, death is the only certainty we have—so why not spend your time truly living?
Did you relate to this week’s newsletter? Comment down and let me know!
– Executive Coaching is our zone of genius at The Amplified Life Company –
Set up a free consultation HERE to learn more about how we can help guide
you in your personal and professional life.
