How to build and maintain thriving relationships: Part #1 Stop Being Let Down

by Carmen Ohling | Feb 27, 2020 | Uncategorized

Question: When was the last time you felt let down?

If you answer this truthfully, it’s most likely the last time that you had an expectation for a person or situation.  There is a quote that says “expectation is the thief of all joy.”  This could not be more true!  Think about it, what if you went into each interaction or experience being completely open.  Open to what is possible, held space for others to be their authentic self; how do you think this would change things for you?

Watch this quick video as I share one of the recent times I felt let down and how I was able to reframe my perception.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B2myBtzF_zn/

Why Should I Get Uncomfortable?

by Carmen Ohling | Oct 17, 2019 | Uncategorized

I remember when I left my 16 year, successful corporate career.

For 16 years I worked on average 6 days a week, 10 hours a day.  I loved my job and I was freaking good at it! So why did I find myself in my car before work one day crying?  You know what- I had no idea why I was crying but after that day I was on a mission to find out!

There were a lot of thoughts with me when I thought about what I should do. I should stay in my career because – 

• I’ve been here for 16 years
• I’m the primary breadwinner for my family
• My entire community knows me as this career woman

The loudest thought that downed out all of the “should’s” was that I had forgotten who I truly was. There was no congruency in my life and I had no idea what I stood for as a woman. I cried that day that I left my successful career, and I’d love to say they were all tears of joy but the truth is that it was scary to let go of a career that I had established as my identity.   It was like ripping off a bandaid and all I kept thinking to myself was, “who the hell am I without this?” Not knowing what was next and heading into the unknown was terrifying but it was what I needed to do.

The New Shift

Fast forward 5 years…..  My husband and I decided to sell the home we lived in for 15 years in Oregon, along with 90% of our belongings, and move to Colorado. You’ll never believe this, but the day we moved into our condo was actually the first day I ever saw it.  If we had moved 10 years prior, there’s no way that would have happened!

The truth is that today, one of the most exciting things in my life is the uncertainty of the new opportunities that I’m experiencing. I actually like not being in control of what’s happening and rather, being open to the world and what might happen. 

The more that I have released my grip on everything in life, the more open I have been to what the world has for me. This has led to more connections and more opportunities than ever before.

Do you want to know why?

The Power of Letting Go

I’ve realized that trying to be in control of everything keeps you playing small because you have less to lose. By releasing your hold on control and opening up, it allows you to experience more, play bigger and see what is possible. 

Letting go does not mean letting your goals go, it just means letting go of the outcome. This means that every day, you can take deliberate, intentional action to achieve your goals, but you don’t have to white-knuckle it daily for a specific outcome. Instead, you’ll see the world around you with open eyes and an open heart rather than limiting yourself with tunnel vision. 

Does that tunnel vision sound familiar?

It’s okay if it does! As an ambitious, goal oriented woman, I’m sure you’ve made it where you are today by “keeping your eye on the prize”. But imagine what you could create with the world around you if you open your heart to exploring the unknown.

Use This Question to Keep Moving Forward

I invite you to sit down and start asking yourself this question, “What am I curious about today?”

Is this a new book or podcast? Taking a new fitness class? Trying out a new recipe?

When we follow our curiosity, we can really understand what we’re passionate about. 

If you can’t think about what you’re curious about today, that is okay! Can you think about what you were curious about 5 years ago? 10 years ago? 15 years ago? 

When we were children, we were curious about everything! However, we heard “no, don’t do that” about a million times and it’s become ingrained in us to not do things. But by allowing some time for play and for joy, the creative and curious version of yourself is likely to emerge.

For more tips and to learn more about my story, Click here to listen to the episode of the Why Should I? Podcast where I talk more in depth about why I continue to pursue the uncomfortable and how it’s changed my life!

Wishing you a ton of light and love,

Carmen

Why You Can’t (And Shouldn’t) Do Everything

by Carmen Ohling | Oct 3, 2019 | Uncategorized

You cannot do everything.

I know, I know… This may be confusing because it sounds like the opposite of everything you’ve ever heard!

But here is the thing… What you have actually heard is, “You can do anything.” In fact, we’ve been hearing this message since we were younger. Now, whether or not you truly believe this is one thing that I’m sure we’ll get into another day, but this one is for my believers. If you truly believe that you can do anything, I urge to be sure that you aren’t trying to do everything.

My main point today is that as we grow in life, we have to make trade-offs and let go of things to allow new things to come into our lives.

Let’s illustrate this. For example, let’s stay that maybe you go to college, become a career woman,  get married and have kids. Now all of a sudden you’re trying to be the best mom, wife, career woman, volunteer at your kid’s school all while trying to keep up with your health and squeeze in the tiny amount of time you have left to catch your breath. At the end of the day, you find yourself so unfulfilled, so tired, and actually have no time for yourself because you’re to-do list is on all day, everyday. This is not the way to live!

So, I ask you to pause and figure out – 

1. Where are you at today?
2. Who are you today?
3. What do you stand for?
4. What is important to you?

Then, you have to prioritize those things in your day. You have to be willing to make significant trade offs if you want to keep growing and striving to reach your full potential.

What This Looks Like For Me

In my own life, I’ve had my own coaching and nutrition business for the past 5 years. I’ve really transitioned into doing more in the online space, speaking at events and all of this really lights me up! But earlier this year, I found myself really stressed and overwhelmed. After some reflection, I realized what was happening.

I was still doing everything that I started out doing and just added more to it. I added on new amazing coaching programs for empowering women, working with them on a 1:1 basis every week, speaking on big sages.

But, I didn’t give up older programs and habits  because they were a security blanket for me! So I made some changes. What I’ve done recently is let go some of my old programs to create space for new opportunities in my life and in my business.

This has been such a game changer! I’ve been able to step into who I am as a woman, who I want to be, what I want to bring into this world and how I can share my gifts better with all of you!

You’ll notice that in my own story, there was a resistance to change because of fear. This is not uncommon. People will cling to an unsatisfactory way of life rather than change it to get something better in fear of getting something worse. But remember, the saying we’ve heard all our lives is still true. We can do anything we set our minds to. So try to let go of the old while going all in with the new.

The act of consciously choosing a new way is something will grow into a habit and will be easier to do over time. 

So I ask you…

• Where do you want to be?
• What are you still holding onto today that you need to let go of even if it’s scary or feels expected of you?

I’d love for you to share this message with an ambitious woman in your life who you know is striving for something! Then, I’d love for you to shoot me an email about what you’re striving for and what is is that you need to let go of.

We have just around 90 days left in this year! Let’s make some room for great things.

Wishing you a ton of light and love,

Carmen