It’s amazing that as women, we all want to be seen. We all want to be seen for all that we are and all that we’ve done, but when given the opportunity, we tend to hide because it’s not perfect.
The environment is not perfect, our hair is not perfect, our thoughts are not perfect, the situation is not perfect, or our outfits not perfect… ⠀
The Back Story
I used to be so wrapped up in what others thought of me, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. “Who am I to do this?”, “There are people who are better than me”, “What if I fuck up and look dumb?” were thoughts that replayed in my head day after day and held me back in every way imaginable. They were on repeat in my head and there was no way I could stop them. But honestly, I didn’t even try.
I didn’t try because I was in fear of what I might uncover. Instead, I just filled every day with more and more. I thought that the more I did and the more external validation I received, the better I would feel. I lived every day so neutral, so “everything is fine”, that I didn’t even know what it was like to experience true joy. Until…. I was over it.⠀I became so sick of not achieving all that I wanted in life and knowing everything I was doing was based on one single emotion… fear.
Here is the thing – I knew that fear was not going to completely disappear from my life, so I needed to stop viewing it as a bad thing to get rid of. Instead, I needed to view it as something that was perfectly fine. What was not perfectly fine, was it running my life.
The Truth I Discovered
I became determined to have a healthy relationship with fear and here is what I learned.
What a healthy relationship with fear does consist of, is consciously knowing that fear will always be sitting right next to you… but also knowing you have the power to not let it take control. What the heck do I mean? Well, let’s say you are getting ready to take the leap and do your first Instagram live and of freaking course here comes that fear making you feel like you aren’t ready. Well, not allowing fear to take over means that you are going to tell your fear, “Thank you for stopping by, your timing couldn’t have been more perfect, but please take a seat and watch me rock this live video!”
Having a healthy relationship with fear does not consist of filling your day with more to-do’s. More to-dos that you take on simply to gain some external validation that will make you feel temporarily better about yourself. (Keyword: Temporarily.)
Not letting your life be run by fear means acknowledging the discomfort and choosing to lean into it anyway.
Not letting your life be run by fear means gracing yourself the permission to be the fullest expression of you.
What You Need To Know
As you begin to lean more into your power, know that when you authentically shine it does not diminish the light of others – it allows them to shine even brighter, too. With that comes more authentic and powerful relationships.
Know that when you authentically shine you will be noticed in the light you have always wanted to be seen in.
I’m here to tell you…
❌F**k perfection.
❌ F**k “everything is fine.”
I believe in you and I know that you are capable of doing so many great things. Creating a healthy relationship with fear is going to take a conscious effort and patience with yourself, but this is something you can do.
So tell me… What have you been after in life that fear has been holding you back from? What discomfort are you going to be leaning into this week? Shoot me an email, let’s chat about it, and if you have any questions on how to create a life you are so freaking pumped about it, reach me at: carmen@carmenohling.com
Sending you a ton of light and love,
Carmen
