It’s amazing that as women, we all want to be seen. We all want to be seen for all that we are and all that we’ve done, but when given the opportunity, we tend to hide because it’s not perfect.
The environment is not perfect, our hair is not perfect, our thoughts are not perfect, the situation is not perfect, or our outfits not perfect… ⠀
The Back Story
I used to be so wrapped up in what others thought of me, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. “Who am I to do this?”, “There are people who are better than me”, “What if I fuck up and look dumb?” were thoughts that replayed in my head day after day and held me back in every way imaginable. They were on repeat in my head and there was no way I could stop them. But honestly, I didn’t even try.
I didn’t try because I was in fear of what I might uncover. Instead, I just filled every day with more and more. I thought that the more I did and the more external validation I received, the better I would feel. I lived every day so neutral, so “everything is fine”, that I didn’t even know what it was like to experience true joy. Until…. I was over it.⠀I became so sick of not achieving all that I wanted in life and knowing everything I was doing was based on one single emotion… fear.
Here is the thing – I knew that fear was not going to completely disappear from my life, so I needed to stop viewing it as a bad thing to get rid of. Instead, I needed to view it as something that was perfectly fine. What was not perfectly fine, was it running my life.
The Truth I Discovered
I became determined to have a healthy relationship with fear and here is what I learned.
What a healthy relationship with fear does consist of, is consciously knowing that fear will always be sitting right next to you… but also knowing you have the power to not let it take control. What the heck do I mean? Well, let’s say you are getting ready to take the leap and do your first Instagram live and of freaking course here comes that fear making you feel like you aren’t ready. Well, not allowing fear to take over means that you are going to tell your fear, “Thank you for stopping by, your timing couldn’t have been more perfect, but please take a seat and watch me rock this live video!”
Having a healthy relationship with fear does not consist of filling your day with more to-do’s. More to-dos that you take on simply to gain some external validation that will make you feel temporarily better about yourself. (Keyword: Temporarily.)
Not letting your life be run by fear means acknowledging the discomfort and choosing to lean into it anyway.
Not letting your life be run by fear means gracing yourself the permission to be the fullest expression of you.
What You Need To Know
As you begin to lean more into your power, know that when you authentically shine it does not diminish the light of others – it allows them to shine even brighter, too. With that comes more authentic and powerful relationships.
Know that when you authentically shine you will be noticed in the light you have always wanted to be seen in.
I’m here to tell you…
❌ F**k “everything is fine.”
I believe in you and I know that you are capable of doing so many great things. Creating a healthy relationship with fear is going to take a conscious effort and patience with yourself, but this is something you can do.
So tell me… What have you been after in life that fear has been holding you back from? What discomfort are you going to be leaning into this week? Shoot me an email, let’s chat about it, and if you have any questions on how to create a life you are so freaking pumped about it, reach me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Sending you a ton of light and love,
2019 Is going to be YOUR best year EVER!
If you’re like me, you’re super excited to welcome in 2019 and all the opportunities for personal, business and spiritual growth that it offers each of us. And, if you’re not excited- it’s time to start and I can help- keep reading! New Year’s is a special and sacred time where we can feel proud of what we’ve accomplished and grateful for all that we’ve experienced. Plus, we can set ourselves up to attract our desires, reach out goals, stay open to guidance and live our best lives possible!
Let’s start by dreaming big and imaging our vision in detail of everything that we wish to bring into our lives. Did you know that in numerology the number 2019 resonates with creative self-expression, relationships, optimism, inspiration, tolerance and inclusiveness? When you’re dreaming of your 2019 vision, image expressing it as a person who tends to be optimistic. A person who has a rich ability to creative self-expression, a person who is tolerant and compassionate, and a person who is innately aware of their own infinite potential.
The next part it a little more challenging- visualizing how to get those dreams into action. Don’t worry, I’ve put together my 3 top tips to help you get there!
#1: Get to know and stay in touch with your why and don’t forget to dream big!
Be unapologetic about your BIG VISION. Your vision should be totally limitless, and while you may not be able to reach your vision in just one year, it will get you into the right direction. Once you’ve created your vision, then ask yourself- WHY? This is an important step because when you have a strong motivation attached to your vision, you’re much more likely to achieve it. For example, if you set a goal to make $10k per month in 2019, you then can discover your why. Maybe it is so you can spend more quality time with your family or give more money to your favorite charity or maybe it’s traveling for a week 4 times during the year. You see once you know your why, that dream becomes much more real and tangible!
#2: Set a plan but be flexible
Once you have your BIG vision and you are connected to your why, now you can set a plan by choosing a specific goal that will help you reach your big vision. Now that you have your goal, I recommend doing what I like to call a brain dump. A brain dump is everything and anything that you need to do in order to reach your goal. The things you put on this list should take only 15-60 minutes, no longer. If they are longer than 60 minutes, break them down more! Then, take this list and prioritize what to do first, and pick on thing to do per day. I know your thinking, just one thing? Believe me it works! When you add too much to your plate you end up getting side tracked and only doing things half assed- never actually getting them done. When you are moving through each day without completing any of the tasks that lead you to reaching your goal, this creates stress, anxiety and overwhelm. No one wants that, so please do the one thing and move on…. Here’s the tricky part- life is going to happen, so be flexible! Things will need to adjust or maybe even change; allow yourself some space for this to happen.
#3: Make self-awareness, self-care and self-love a priority
Here’s a fact that most people ignore: IF YOU DO NOT MAKE YOUR PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH A PRIORITY YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER. Hey, you might be able to eventually reach your goals but how do you feel- like shit if you ask me! The focus should always be placing a priority on feeling good every day. So, what makes you feel good? I encourage you to figure that out and create a daily routine to support that. For myself I know that when I spend time in the morning reading, setting intentions, journaling and moving my body right away- I feel good. I know I feel good when I eat nutrient dense foods. I know I feel good when I take breaks during the day to walk. I know I feel good when I am in service of others. I know I feel good when I make true connections. I know I feel good when I check in with myself throughout the day and reframe my thoughts, if needed. So again, I ask you- what makes you feel good?
Why not make 2019 the year you re-connect with yourself, the year you finally put yourself first, and the year that you become so self-aware that it is actually easy to become radically responsible for you own life and happiness? Why not live your best life in 2019!!
Lastly, I will leave you with this important reminder. If your goals include: getting into the best shape of your life, learning better eating habits, creating wealth, or simply just taking better care of yourself- DITCH THE GUILT. I promise you nothing that you could have eaten or spent too much money on or skipped a workout for, could be as unhealthy for you as the negative self-talk and old shitty stories that you are telling yourself in your head. DON’T PUNISH YOURSELF for it, LEARN FROM it and do better next time. Let’s make 2019 your best year EVER and create so much self-love by loving your amazing body STARTING TODAY and caring for it inside and out.
Sending you light and love for an amazing 2019,
Do you feel like you need more help? Reach out here and we’ll chat!
Body Image. Self Worth. Happiness.
I use to relate all three of these, often. I remember the first time someone asked me how much I weighed I was in 6th grade. She was in high school and I looked up to her, to be clear I idolized her. My weight at the time was something like 70lbs but she made it seem like it was a lot….
This shaped the start of my preoccupation with my body image, weight, self worth and happiness. For over a decade I obsessed about my weight, under eating, over exercising and being all up in my head with constant comparison and judgement. Anyone remember buns of steel with Tamilee Webb?
It’s so easy to tell ourselves (especially as women) that we won’t be satisfied or find true happiness until we achieve a certain dress size or scale weight. The truth is, it isn’t our weight that makes a difference, it’s how we treat ourselves and our body that matters. The lie I use to tell myself over and over and over was: once I reach X weight I will be happy. Guess what? I got to the weight and wasn’t happy.
Ok, so here’s the truth. Your weight does not define you, but how you treat yourself does. Society tells us you need to be skinny or gives you a permission slip need to accept your unhealthy body. So WFT are we suppose to do here?!?!
First thing to know, to accept, and to understand is that you are worthy of happiness, love, and everything you desire at any weight or dress size. The most important things to consider is how you treat yourself- body and mind. Eating shitty food, day in and out is abusing you body. It makes you feel like shit, both physically and mentally. Again, this is the point here- YOUR WEIGHT DOES NOT DEFINE YOU BUT HOW YOU TREAT YOURSELF DOES.
Believe me, it can be a struggle, and sometimes I still struggle. What I try to do is focus on listening to my body and daily movement, not to achieve a certain weight. I focus on feeling good everyday, and I encourage you to do the same. Write out how you want to feel, and then write out what makes you feel that way.
So whether you are looking to gain weight, lose weight, have more energy or feel amazing, treating your body with respect and listening to what it needs to going to be the best.
What do you think and feel about this? Let’s chat! Shoot me a message at email@example.com or connect on social media.
Working to live my best life and helping you to do the same,
I love sugar. To be clear, I love all things that are sweet! I do not use real sugar, but sugar substitutes daily like: stevia, dates, and sweetened protein powders. I find that I can’t get enough; I eat one bite I immediately want more. Just like any other addiction, I know that this desire for more is in my brain and I need to mindfully work to get over this addiction.
I have loved sweets for as long as I can remember. I can pass on the chips and pizza any day but not the chocolate. Growing up, dessert was used a reward- get good grades and you go to ice cream! Dessert was always associated with after dinner and at every holiday as well. When I do have the occasional indulgence, my body reacts negatively. Inflammation sets in, I retain water and my skin becomes sore to touch. Clear signs that sugar is not my friend, nor does it need to be part of my diet.
As of today, I am giving up sugar for the next 4 weeks. Like I said before, I gave up the real sugar years ago, but I am now giving it all up. No more stevia, sucralose, sugar free syrup for my coffee, sugar free BBQ sauce, stevia sweetened drinks, or even fruit. I miss the sweetness already just writing this!
Let’s focus on what I can have (due to the no or low sugar content): lemons, lime, coconut and avocado. For the next 4 weeks, I will take you along with me on this journey and share with you my experience, plus more information on why you may want to consider giving up sugar too. Check back here on my blog for weekly updates.
Eat Real Food. Be Healthy. Feel Amazing.
My goal is to help people learn how to fuel their bodies with real, whole foods, so they can thrive in their own lives- both today and in the future. Once you get your nutrition right, your confidence is increased, you feel AMAZING and it can even help with improving your health issues. Check out this success story from one of our INCREDIBLE 28-Day Clean Eating Program members…..
In Betsy’s words:
“So…my plan was to private message you Carmen and tell you a little bit about myself. However my dear friend Sue said that I need to share my journey:
I hope that others will read this and benefit from it. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis about 16 years ago and have constantly battled with the symptoms that go along with it. I was super skeptical to try the healthy eating approach simply because the recommended diet during a flare is a low residual diet which consists of lots of high fiber and mostly the foods that are in no way healthy but are supposed to be easy to digest. White bread and peanut butter are not flattering on anyone’s body but especially not a 54 year old! Anyway, I decided to give it a shot because many of the people at work have been doing your 28 day challenges and have been looking and feeling great. Since having started on the 28 day plan I am happy to tell you that I have not been experiencing any negative effects. As a matter of fact I feel better than I have in a long time. I LOVE the food and the fact that I can take a Sunday afternoon and get ready for the entire week!
I just realized that I sound like an infomercial! Just to let anyone reading this know that I am not on Carmen’s payroll and in fact have never met her. I am amazed at the difference and am super excited about the upcoming challenges! The food this week is awesome! Love the Chia Seed Overnight Oats especially- so easy! My husband was super anxious when I said that I was going to sign up. Believe me when I say that my flares are not pleasant and my family suffers along with me. I make SURE of it. Thanks for doing this Carmen and making it so easy for us!”
– Betsy (Albany, Oregon)
Want to learn more about eating healthy and changing your life?
Check out the 28-Day Clean Eating Program:
Eat Real Food. Be Healthy. Feel Amazing!!!!
Starting this week, I”ll be doing something new….. Tips and Talk Tuesdays on Facebook Live!!!!
This will give all of you an opportunity to hear quick, effective tips that you can implement today to lead a healthier, happier life!!!! You will also have a chance to ask your health questions!! I’ll answer as many as I can during the live feed, later in the comments for those of you watching after the initial video, and even the following week on the next live feed- so, ASK AWAY!!!! Feel free to ask about anything health related… nutrition, fitness, mindfulness, goal setting, preparation and planning…anything that you can think of!!!
If you missed the first live Tips and Talk Tuesday, watch it by clicking on the link below….. and be sure to join next Tuesday at 12:15pm PST.
Eat Real Food.
Want more? Check out carmenohling.com!!!